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Mar 26, 2017 · So here it is boiled down to ten things I learned my first year as a widow. Survival is possible. The first days and weeks after losing my husband I wasn’t sure how I’d survive, or if I even ...
- Jodi Whitsitt
- Lean on those who love you – Especially in the beginning. Let them bring you food, or give you financial support, or run errands for you, or watch your kids for you.
- People say insensitive things when they don’t understand, ignore them – They don’t mean it. And worse even, they think they’re helping, but really they’re uncomfortable and want to fix the unfixable.
- See a therapist – Just do it. Having a professional, neutral and unbiased resource who can help you comprehend and sift through the confusing and complicated feelings that grief brings in is endlessly helpful.
- Hydrate and nourish yourself – I know you may not feel hungry or thirsty, but our bodies need fuel to function optimally. This is especially true in the face of lifes most difficult challenges.
- Survival is possible. The first days and weeks after losing my husband I wasn’t sure how I’d survive, or if I even wanted to. Losing my spouse crumbled my foundation and the pain was unbearable at times.
- My Inner Circle has changed. I really struggled with disappointment and hurt over the loss of what I thought I somehow deserved from friends. When they fell short, I felt abandoned.
- The pain doesn’t lessen. Although it’s true that maybe I cry softer and maybe even less frequently, the pain hasn’t really lessened. In many ways, it’s intensified.
- I will not ever be the same person again. At the one-year mark, I’ve realized the old me is gone. She died with my husband. In her place there is emerging a new, changed person that begs to be discovered.
- Crazy, Not Crazy. Widow Brain or Widow Fog is real. Also known as Grief Fog since it is not limited to those who’ve lost a spouse, is a phenomenon where the body strains to cope with the trauma of loss.
- Get Ready for a New Financial Norm. I distinctly remember not having enough money the first couple months after my husband died. He died on a Sunday and his employer was quick to cut pay and benefits on Monday, but of course the bills didn’t stop.
- Grief is a Tricky Thing. Unbridled grief, for me, continues to be triggered by the little things, not the big. That first year (and the second, and the third) his birthday, our anniversary, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and 4 of July (one of his favorite holidays) came and went with tears over pictures and lit candles and dinners at beloved restaurants.
- Death is Not Serene. Another thing that fed my grief was the way my husband died: a terminal cancer diagnosis in November 2017 and death from kidney failure brought on by chemotherapy in March 2018.
Apr 21, 2024 · What I Learned in My First Year as a Widow - by Mary Roblyn. Gratitude is how you get through grief. Mary Roblyn. Apr 21, 2024. 438. 185. Share. “It’s been a year since my husband died.” I say the words out loud for the first time. The house is silent. I look around for evidence that I’ve gotten the date right. Has anything changed?
Sep 28, 2022 · Whether you’re in this widow club too, have lost someone close to you, or maybe you’re just lost in general, here are a few of the lessons I've learned: You can survive your darkest days
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Jun 15, 2017 · So here it is boiled down to ten things I learned my first year as a widow. Survival is possible. The first days and weeks after losing my husband I wasn’t sure how I’d survive, or if I even wanted to. Losing my spouse crumbled my foundation and the pain was unbearable at times.
