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  2. May 14, 2024 · From relatable jokes from famous folks to marriage comedy dialogue from your favorite rom-coms, these funny wedding and marriage quotes are ideal for an anniversary card, wedding toasts (think: cheeky best man and bridesmaid toasts), party decor or simply texting your partner after a long day.

    • Jamie Cuccinelli
  3. Jun 20, 2024 · Prepare to be amused as we present you with the wittiest short and funny marriage quotes. These funny quotes about happy marriage will remind you that laughter is indeed a key ingredient for a successful union.

    • “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” — Milton Berle.
    • “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers.
    • “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft.
    • “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.
  4. Jan 4, 2017 · Enjoy these funny marriage quotes that sum up what it means to be married in a humorous and good-natured (if sometimes a little embittered!) way. Whether you’re already wed, soon to be so, or resolutely and defiantly single and believe marriage is out-dated, we’re sure you’ll find them funny.

    • “One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here.
    • "Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun." — Stephanie Ortiz.
    • “Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
    • “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner.
  5. Apr 4, 2023 · The ultimate list of funny marriage quotes. 1. “To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.” -Ogden Nash. 2. “The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.” -Jackie Kennedy. 3.

  6. Dec 12, 2023 · If you can’t laugh at the one you love, who can you laugh at? These hilarious quotes about marriage are relatable for both husbands and wives.

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