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May 17, 2014 · There are many valid reasons to let a relationship go, including secrets not being revealed and incompatible desires.
- You don't feel safe, physically or emotionally. Abuse should never be tolerated, Leeds tells mbg. If abuse of any kind is present in the relationship, whether physical, emotional, and/or verbal, that's a major sign to let this person go.
- You're always making excuses for them. According to clinical psychologist Perpetua Neo, DClinPsy, it's not uncommon to experience rose-colored glasses with the objects of our affection, and this can lead to constantly excusing inexcusable behavior.
- You don't like who you are around them. Ask yourself if you actually like who you are around this person, or if you're truly being yourself. Neo notes that if you're trading your normal behavior for fawning behavior in order to keep the peace, that's a sign this person isn't good for you.
- They drain your energy. Along with how you act and behave around this person, it's also a good idea to take stock of how they make you feel. Leeds explains that feelings of general discomfort, or feeling drained after spending time with them, indicate that you're better off leaving the relationship.
Jul 31, 2020 · If it's a relationship you're thinking about leaving, here's more specific signs you should break up and how to break up with someone you love.
- There are constant "if-onlys." Whether it is you, your partner, or both of you having these thoughts, it's a bad sign if there is always a sense that the relationship could be satisfying if only a certain thing fundamentally changed.
- You don't feel understood. Maybe you feel that you are loved under certain conditions only, or you keep up a facade for your partner. This can get in the way of true emotional intimacy and feel empty over time — the idea that your partner wouldn't genuinely love the "real" you, if you were truly allowing yourself to be that person.
- You feel drained by your partner, even when they're not being particularly draining. In any relationship, there are times when one partner takes more than gives; equal and perfect reciprocity can rarely be maintained all the time.
- You hide major parts of your partner from friends and family. Perhaps you cover up your partner's drinking or lie about how well they treat others. Maybe you're ashamed to admit how often you fight, or you find yourself censoring the fact that your partner has a long-standing problem with gambling, or you've lost trust in their faithfulness.
- Biology is a key factor. I know we might like to think that we’re in total control of our thoughts and emotions. But when we’re attracted to someone and begin to have intense feelings for them, it’s largely because biology is helping us.
- Fantasy versus reality. When we’re infatuated, everything looks wonderful and perfect. Even though we know life isn’t perfect and often not wonderful, when we’re in this state of heightened emotion it seems as if everything is right as it is and that nothing can go wrong.
- Superficial versus deep. When we’re infatuated, the emphasis is on what we think makes us most attractive—the way we look, dress, behave. We may be holding back for fear that if we showed parts of ourselves we don’t care for, our partner might be turned off.
- Obsession versus "let it be” Infatuation is another way of saying we are in love with an idea/ideal versus the real thing. One may become so infatuated that they think about the other person all day, totally consumed by them or thoughts of them when they’re not there.
Aug 20, 2021 · Detaching from a relationship can be challenging, particularly if you’ve been with this person for a long time. But when your emotion and physical health take a dive, it may be time to let go.
May 1, 2023 · Whether it's a spouse or love partner, if someone is abusing you in some way — through physical actions, psychological games, or consistently cruel words — it's time to let them go.
