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- We notice we are in threat, which means paying attention to our bodies and inner life more openly and more often.
- We use our breath to support a threat regulating response in our bodies, which means understanding how breath works and practising breathing well.
- We interrupt our mental habit of judging, analysing, or criticising what is happening in, to, and around us with kind self-talk, and by using our breath as a focal point, or anchor, to ‘hold’ us in centre when we become distracted or overwhelmed.
- We continue to talk to ourselves gently and breathe regularly until our body and mind have calmed.
- Assume you have something in common with everyone. Unconsciously, people who feel like an outsider look for differences between themselves and others.
- Share something personal about yourself. Many people will try to hide the things about them that are personal but doing so keeps people from getting to know you, and can also make you feel more awkward or uncomfortable.
- Filter less of what you say and do. While it might seem like being perfect will win you friends, it might actually make you seem pretentious, which is more likely to intimidate people and trigger their own insecurities (everyone has them).
- Follow your passions. One of the great things about technology is that it gives you an opportunity to connect with people with similar interests and ideas, no matter how random or uncommon they may be.
- Why Don’T I Fit in with Other people?
- Feeling Lonely, Misunderstood, and on The Outside
- What to Do When You Have Nothing in Common with Anybody
- 3 Takeaway Thoughts If You Want to Find More Common Ground with People
I’ve had a pretty deep-rooted fear of being disliked for much of my life. It’s certainly not 100% paranoia either. I’ve often questioned whether I am a more difficult person to like. That’s because I know I’m not the most agreeable of types. I often struggle with small talk and I’ve always had lots of thoughts and opinions which I all too freely sh...
Not long ago I went to dinner with a friend and two other acquaintances, who I don’t know so well, and by the end of the night, I wished I’d just stayed home. The discomfort of feeling like I was forcing things with people I just didn’t click with was worse than no company at all. Perhaps you can relate? Anecdotally, I’ve had many conversations rec...
1) Stop thinking of yourself as being different from everyone else because it’s going to psych you out
Here’s what I’ve noticed: When we get it into our heads that we are different or when we feel like we need to make more of an effort to get someone to like us, it affects how we show up. Conversations take on this pressured feeling that ends up being really awkward, forced, or fake somehow. In short, we end up trying too hard. At the root of all real human connections lies authenticity. We are constantly analyzing one another. We do this through way more than what is being said. Experts have...
2) Ask yourself if you’re really opening up to people and letting them get to know you
It’s one of those potentially clichéd truisms in life that whenever we feel like something is being withheld from us, we are usually withholding from ourselves in some way. Many years ago I was discussing with a woman I’d recently met how I always seemed to go for emotionally unavailable men. I had rationalized this as one of those Freudian ‘we’re always looking for relationships that model our own parents’ type of thing. When she suddenly hit me with a complete curveball: “Do you think you a...
3) Start seeing what makes you unique as your superpower rather than a weakness
At the risk of sounding like your teacher or your mom, the world really would be a pretty boring place if we were all alike. It would be like one of those creepy dystopian films. We all have qualities that we sometimes wish we could minimize, but it’s important to accept that they exist not in isolation but on a spectrum. At the other end is probably something pretty epic about you. Often, parts of our personality we don’t like are inseparable from the very thing that makes us special and uni...
There’s no denying that human beings are social creatures and we do need one another. Yet there is no cookie-cutter mold when it comes to what those friendships and connections should look like. Whenever you feel like you have nothing in common with the people around you, remember these 3 important things:
Apr 27, 2021 · Still a little anxious about chatting up a stranger? Below, Martinet and other experts share their best advice for talking to someone you seemingly have nothing in common with.
- You don’t feel like they understand you anymore. One of the most common signs that you’ve outgrown a friend is not feeling seen, heard, or understood for who you are now.
- It feels like you’re walking on eggshells. You may feel like you are walking on eggshells whenever you’re with your friend. To protect their feelings or avoid making them insecure or jealous, you may feel like you can’t share some of what’s going on in your life.
- You have nothing in common with them anymore. Because most friendships develop based on a common interest, hobby, or value, it’s hard to remain close friends with someone who you don’t have a lot in common with.Over time, people change, and so do their beliefs, values, and priorities.
- Your conversations are surface level. It’s normal to avoid sensitive, personal, or potentially controversial topics with people you don’t know very well, but most people want to be able to talk about these issues with their close friends.
Mental Health. Addiction; Anxiety ; ADHD; Asperger's; Autism; Bipolar Disorder; Personality
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Oct 29, 2022 · That’s what it can feel like, when you talk with someone who seemingly has nothing in common. While conversations can be more challenging, there are multiple ways to connect with the other person regardless. In this article, I will share more about how to do so.
