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- Adam England
- Ask Questions. It’s so easy to get caught up in day-to-day life and the sort of conversations that invites, but it’s important to ask intentional questions.
- Validate Their Thoughts and Feelings. It’s important to validate your partner’s thoughts and feelings. You might not agree, necessarily, but you can still show them respect.
- Show Appreciation. Even the smallest things could mean the world to your partner when you show them how much they mean to you. “Expressing appreciation for your partner is one of the keys to a happy and successful long-term relationship,” says Sullivan.
- Communicate Effectively. In any relationship, communication is key to maintaining a healthy relationship—especially in romantic relationships. “It’s important to find moments to talk with your partner about your expectations for your relationship and how you’re feeling about where things are going,” explains Sullivan.
- Listen. How can you love someone if you don't even know them? Offer your lover the gift of being an attentive, open listener. Carolina Pataky, Ph.D., LMFT, CST, marriage therapist and co-founder of the Love Discovery Institute, tells mbg that it's important to stay present during your conversations with your significant other.
- Use your words. Annie Hsueh, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in couples therapy, tells mbg that one way to express love is surprisingly simple: Just tell them.
- Say thank you. Research has demonstrated so many mental and physical benefits of gratitude, and that extends to romantic relationships too. Take the time to thank the person you love, even for "little" things, such as taking out the trash and doing the dishes.
- Express interest. Expressing interest in someone's life is a timeless way to show your love, and it's a vital form of connection. This is one of the key findings of researchers John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman, whose work at The Gottman Institute has pioneered popular frameworks for marriage therapy.
1 day ago · 1. Focus on being your best self. Before you can love someone else fully, you need to love and understand yourself. Self-improvement isn't selfish; it's an investment in your relationship. Maybe it's about nurturing your passions, prioritizing self-care, or working through past trauma that holds you back.
- Overview
- Communicate with your partne
- Nurture intimacy with your partne
- Validate your partner's thoughts and feeling
- Spend quality time with your partne
- Show appreciation to your partne
- Flirt with your partner on a regular basi
- Build your own self-confidenc
- Practice mindfulnes
- Set aside time for se
For a lot of people, sex is a pretty important part of any romantic relationship. Sure, it's not the
thing, but it's up there—and maybe you feel like you could be better at it. That's totally normal! Of course, you want to knock your partner's socks off. If you'd like to be a better lover, you've come to the right place. We interviewed expert psychologists and sex therapists to find out how you can become a better lover, both in and out of the bedroom.
Communication and intimacy are key to a great romantic and sexual relationship. Spend quality time with your partner in and out of the bedroom.
Flirt with your partner and show appreciation so they know that you're interested in them all the time.
Talk about what you like and don't like.
might feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, but it doesn't need to be! Start a no-pressure conversation by asking your partner about their dreams and fantasies. Find out what turns them on, then share with them what turns you on.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Jin S. Kim notes that "having a discussion about how each partner would like to express and receive love (also known as 'love languages') can be valuable in not only learning about each other but also promoting more effective communication."
Licensed clinical psychologist Susan Pazak advises you to "say what you need, want, and fantasize about. Be direct as this allows for the conversation which will lead to more enjoyable sex."
When you share something with your partner that you've never told anyone else, it forges a close bond with them. This emotional intimacy helps the two of you understand one another on a deeper level.
In terms of physical intimacy, sex and intimacy coach Shelby Devlin recommends "having a naked cuddle... as a great way to connect with your partner" because it "takes the pressure off of sexual interaction but it's deeply intimate and sensual."
Help your partner feel safe being vulnerable with you.
Validation is the foundation of a healthy, loving relationship. To
, repeat back to them what they've said about how they think or feel and let them know that it's perfectly normal to think or feel that way.
so they understand that even if you don't feel the same way, you still accept their feelings and get where they're coming from.
When your partner feels safe with you, they'll feel more comfortable being open and honest with you.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Sarah Schewitz agrees that healthy communication "involves understanding your partner's perspective, it involves validating your partner's perspective."
Enjoy spending time with each other outside the bedroom.
Licensed clinical psychologist Susan Pazak emphasizes that "sex will be more enjoyable when love tanks are filled in other areas of life. Meet needs and wants during other activities as this expresses love for one another throughout the day, which then leads to you wanting to express love sexually and please your partner and yourself in a physical way."
Acknowledge all the little things your partner does for you.
and appreciation to your partner triggers your brain to release the hormone oxytocin, sometimes called the "love hormone." This hormone helps build a stronger connection between the two of you.
Showing appreciation means more than thanking your partner when they do something for you—it also means noticing when they could use some help and pitching in without being asked.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Sarah Schewitz notes that "being romantic means going out of your way to do something for your partner that they may not expect." Paying attention to them and showing appreciation shows that you notice all of those little things they do.
Rekindle the flame with playfulness and physical touch.
is a great way to keep your relationship fresh. But if you've been together for a while, the flirting can sometimes fall by the wayside. Flirting is can increase sexual tension and build excitement for sexual encounters, which will likely make your sexual experiences more enjoyable.
send your partner flirty texts
during the day while the two of you are at work. It can help create sexual tension that will make things more intense when you're together.
Work on your self-image to feel more comfortable.
by focusing on your strengths rather than obsessing over your flaws. Studies show that your sex life can naturally improve if you start to feel better about yourself.
For example, if you have a negative body image, you might
so that you have more energy and feel more comfortable in your own skin.
Stay in the moment when the two of you are in bed.
It's totally normal for your mind to wander during sex. But the more you hold yourself in the moment, the more you'll connect with your partner and experience intense pleasure.
If you're not experienced with mindfulness, that's okay!
to increase your ability to stay in the moment. Meditating with your partner can also help build your emotional connection, which can improve your sex life indirectly.
Schedule times when you can be together without distractions.
There's nothing wrong with a little spontaneity, but penciling in a sex date on your calendar gives you something to plan for. Especially if you're wanting to try new things, a scheduled sex session gives you time to set up and prepare.
- Barbara Field
- Are You in a Healthy Relationship? Take the Quiz. If you've got questions about your relationship, our fast and free quiz can help you better understand if your partnership is rock solid or if it could use some work.
- Spend Time Apart. It sounds counterintuitive as a way to improve your relationship, but take a break from your partner. Everyone needs their own space and quality time outside a relationship.
- Go to Sleep at the Same Time. Perhaps you’ve already read that most American adults are not getting the seven to eight hours per night of healthy sleep they need.
- Be Vulnerable. Sometimes you have to dig deep to be vulnerable. “Couples may find it surprising, but if each one becomes curious about one's own blind spots, discovers them, and then is courageous enough to share that vulnerability, it can help create deeper intimacy,” advised Meredith Resnick, LCSW, creator of Shamerecovery.com.
Feb 7, 2023 · The biggest secret to finding lasting love is clear expectations and clear communication. We have seen so many rom-coms and fairytales that we begin to believe the myth that love is...
Jul 29, 2024 · When you stand in love, you act in certain ways toward a person. Just like learning to play an instrument, you can also get better at loving with patience, concentration and discipline.
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