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Aug 23, 2024 · Step 1 – Eliminate relationship disturbances. Firstly, it is vital to remove or at least reduce emotions that will get in the way of conflict resolution, such as hurt, anger, and resentment. Otherwise, either side is unlikely to listen patiently and openly to what the other is saying. Step 2 – Commit to a win–win posture.
- Be direct. Sometimes people don't just come out and plainly state what is bothering them, and instead choose more indirect ways of expressing their displeasure.1 One partner may speak to the other in a way that is condescending and implies underlying hostility.
- Talk about how you feel without blaming your partner. Statements that directly assault your partner’s character can be especially damaging to a relationship.3 If a man frustrated by his girlfriend's jealousy says "You’re totally irrational!"
- Never say never (or "always"). When you’re addressing a problem, you should avoid making generalizations about your partner. Statements like "You never help out around the house," or, "You're always staring at your cell phone" are likely to make your partner defensive.
- Pick your battles. If you want to have a constructive discussion, you need to stick to one issue at a time. Unhappy couples are likely to drag multiple topics into one discussion, a habit renowned conflict researcher John Gottman calls "kitchen-sinking."
- Creating an atmosphere of mutual respect. Randy Brazzel, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Houston, explains that going into an argument with the goal of proving your partner wrong can be a recipe for resentment.
- Recentering when things get emotional. It’s OK to be passionate about your stance on life. Sometimes emotions can come out full force when you’re feeling challenged on that stance, though.
- Addressing protective behaviors. “While in conflict, remember that both partners are looking to protect themselves,” says Michele Paiva, a practitioner of Zen-Buddhism in Downingtown, Pennsylvania.
- Validating feelings. “When trying to resolve an argument, it is important to validate the feelings your partner has before trying to correct any misperceptions or misunderstandings,” says Brazzel.
- Criticizing your partner. Think of the last time you and your partner had a disagreement. Chances are, one of you said something to the other that was completely misunderstood.
- The silent treatment. The next stage is when the trouble starts. One partner may go suddenly silent, a strong trigger for the other one. “Oh, so you’re not talking to me now.
- Settling disagreements. In my view, there are two strategies to help avoid entering the abyss of disharmony and resolve conflicts. First, I believe that all couples need to set a policy together, during a time when they are getting along well, about how to manage fights (I don’t mean physical fights when I use that word).
- Self-regulate negative emotions. Either way, having the experience of broaching a discussion of the conflict in a peaceful manner may, in and of itself, be calming and open the door to a better effort at the resolution the next day.
4 days ago · This shows autonomy and independence and prevents enmeshment in the relationship. 5. Lack of sexual compatibility. Misaligned sexual drives, where you experience a stronger urge to have sex more frequently, as opposed to your less inclined spouse, can throw a wedge between you and your partner.
- 1. Common Conflicts in marriage – Take the bull by its horns
- 2. 1. Unmet expectations – unreasonable expectations
- 3. 2. Conflicting standpoints on the subject of children
- 4. 3. Inability to manage marriage finances
- 5. 4. Allocation of time to marriage and personal pursuits
- 6. 5. Lack of sexual compatibility
- 7. 6. Breakdown in communication
- 8. 7. Mismatched dynamics and imbalanced powerplay in personalities
- 9. Other types of marital conflict
- 10. Conflicted marriage doesn’t need to be your reality
Dec 5, 2012 · Couples with poor conflict resolution skills typically engage in Fight, Flight, or Freeze behaviors. They fight and stay mad, sometimes holding grudges for years. They flee and avoid important ...
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Jul 27, 2023 · Go into every conflict resolution situation with the mindset that you might not end up agreeing on the issue. And that’s ok. Having this mindset will help you move onto the “finding the common ground” phase of the issue. 7. Accept that you may not get “your way”. What you want may not be what’s best for the situation.
