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    • It hurts to keep secrets

      • It hurts to keep secrets. Secrecy is associated with lower well-being, worse health, and less satisfying relationships. Research has linked secrecy to increased anxiety, depression, symptoms of poor health, and even the more rapid progression of disease. There is a seemingly obvious explanation for these harms: Hiding secrets is hard work.
      www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-the-secrets-you-keep-are-hurting-you/
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  2. Jun 25, 2024 · Research has shown that carrying a burden of secrets can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and isolation, as children grapple with the internal conflict between loyalty and honesty.

  3. Jan 11, 2024 · Keeping secrets is generally thought of as quite a negative thing. Some research we've covered, for example, has found that secrets can leave us feeling literally weighed down, while other work has shown that even children understand why secrets can be damaging when handled badly.

    • What Is It About Keeping Secrets That Make Us Feel Bad?
    • Shame Can Make Us Spiral, While Guilt Might Actually Be Helpful
    • How Can We Prevent Secrets from Affecting Our Mental Health and Relationships?

    Recent findings, including astudy from Columbia University, suggest that the problem isn’t so much the act of keeping secrets. Instead, our distress lies in repeatedly thinkingabout info we’re trying to conceal. The Columbia researchers, for instance, found that people who spent more time ruminating about their secrets tended to experience worse ph...

    The terms guiltand shame are often used interchangeably, but they’re not the same. Guilt is a feeling of regret in response to “a specific situation, whereas shame is something we feel frequently and consistently, even if we haven’t done something wrong,” says Dr. Fedrick. If we cheat on a test, for example, we might feel guilty for getting a highe...

    Living with secrets can lead to anxiety and distress. So, if you’ve been hiding something for a long time, consider how important it is to who you are today, says Felder. When we shift from “believing that secrets are a reflection of our identity, to understanding them as a reflection of past choices or behaviors, they can be less taxing on our rel...

    • Nandini Maharaj
  4. Sep 30, 2012 · It's one thing to do something hurtful to someone. It's another to do so and keep it from them. While the former is often hard to forgive, the latter is even harder. Deciding not to reveal a...

  5. Feb 5, 2019 · It hurts to keep secrets. Secrecy is associated with lower well-being, worse health, and less satisfying relationships. Research has linked secrecy to increased anxiety,...

    • Michael Slepian
  6. Jan 22, 2019 · Beyond that, keeping secrets may actually cause harm. Slepian and colleagues (2017) demonstrated in a study of 13,000 secrets that people may become distracted by secrets, leading to a...

  7. Jul 25, 2022 · When Do Your Secrets Hurt Your Well-Being? A new book explains why we keep secrets and provides useful guidance around whether or not to reveal them. By Jill Suttie | July 25, 2022. Everyone keeps secrets, at least occasionally.

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