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  1. The woman explained that at first, her grief filled up every part of her life. She drew a picture, like the one below, to explain this. She had expected her grief to get smaller over time, as did Dr Tonkin. But that wasn’t what happened. Instead of her grief getting smaller, her life got larger, like in this second diagram.

    • Grief Softens Over Time
    • A Different Pain
    • The Matter of Things

    And that’s what grief looks like for me three years out. I am sad within happiness or happy within sadness. I seesaw between living joyfully and dropping into melancholy. I am working hard at rebuilding my life in this new configuration while still yearning for a life that is no longer possible. I still attend support groups, but not as fervently. ...

    I still hurt, but it’s different, more like a constant, dull ache in the background at all times. I can still choke up talking about Tom, and I experience throbs of anguish, either at random times or because I have reached for them to reassure myself that I haven't forgotten. Healing from grief is complicated; it can feel like betrayal or like you ...

    Practically speaking, I have yet to empty Tom’s closet; I’m not ready for that. I have not spread his ashes and wonder if I ever will. They are on his dresser along with his wallet and keys and some photographs, and I still talk to them. I am finding that his possessions have taken on different meanings, some more meaningful (I wear his overalls to...

  2. Growing around grief is a theory that challenges the idea that our grief goes away or gets smaller over time. This theory suggests that our grief does not get smaller. But that we grow around our grief instead. This can mean that sometimes our grief can feel just as painful as it did when we first experienced the loss.

  3. Jun 7, 2021 · Figure 2 what she imagined would happen as time passed. She believed her life would remain the same size, but with time her grief would become smaller. This is not what happened. But she created a third figure, one that she felt represented the way that her grief actually unfolded: In this figure, her grief is exactly the same size as it was to ...

  4. Imagine your life as a circle containing everything you're experiencing. For some people, if their grief is all consuming, the majority of the circle may be taken up with grief. But over time, this can change. Rather than feeling like the grief is getting smaller, the circle representing you and everything else in your life grows bigger.

  5. Prolonged grief disorder. For most people grief will become less intense over time. But for some people, grief lasts many months or years. This is known as prolonged grief disorder or complicated grief. Symptoms of prolonged grief disorder include: very difficult feelings such as sadness or guilt for over 6 months

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  7. Jul 3, 2023 · Initially, grief may feel like an overwhelming wave that crashes over us, leaving us feeling lost and confused. It can be accompanied by intense emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, and even numbness. As time goes on, however, grief tends to evolve. It may become less intense, but that doesn’t mean it disappears.

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