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Mar 16, 2021 · Divorce is, in fact, one of several adverse childhood experiences (or ACEs) found to predict mental and physical illness well into adulthood. Others include physical and psychological abuse ...
- The Impact of Divorce on Children
Divorce often brings financial strain and social difficulty....
- The Impact of Divorce on Children
Aug 4, 2022 · Divorce often brings financial strain and social difficulty. Children can believe themselves to be the cause of their parents’ divorce. Guilt and shame can make them feel worthless, anxious, and ...
- Jenny Perkel
- Overview
- 1. They feel angry
- 2. They may withdraw socially
- 3. Their grades might suffer
- 4. They feel separation anxiety
- 5. Little ones may regress
- 6. Their eating and sleeping patterns change
- 7. They may pick sides
- 8. They go through depression
- 9. They engage in risky behaviors
Splitting up isn’t easy. Entire novels and pop songs have been written about it. And when children are involved, divorce can be an especially sensitive situation.
Breathe. You’re in the right place. The truth is that divorce does impact kids — sometimes in ways you wouldn’t quite expect. But it isn’t all doom and gloom.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remind yourself that you’re doing what’s right for you and your family. Moving forward, try your very best to plan, understand the potential warning signs, and make yourself emotionally available to your child.
That all said, let’s jump in with some ways your child may express their feelings surrounding separation.
Kids may feel angry about divorce. If you think about it, it makes sense. Their whole world is changing — and they don’t necessarily have much input.
Anger can strike at any age, but it’s particularly present with school-aged kids and teens. These emotions may arise from feelings of abandonment or loss of control. Anger may even be directed inward, as some children blame themselves for their parents’ divorce.
You may also notice that your social butterfly child has become quite shy or anxious. They’re likely thinking about and feeling a lot right now. They may seem uninterested or even fearful of social situations, like hanging out with friends or attending school events.
Low self-image is associated with both divorce and social withdrawal, so boosting your child’s confidence and inner dialogue may help them come out of their shell again.
Academically, kids going through divorce may earn lower grades and even face a higher dropout rate compared to their peers. These effects may be seen as early as age 6 but may be more noticeable as kids reach the ages of 13 to 18 years old.
There are several possible reasons for this link, including that children may feel neglected, depressed, or distracted by increased conflict between their parents. With time, less interest in academics at the high school level may trickle over to less interest with furthering their education overall.
Younger children may show signs of separation anxiety, such as increased crying or clinginess. Of course, this is also a developmental milestone that tends to begin between the ages of 6 to 9 months and resolve by 18 months.
Still, older toddlers and kids may show signs of separation anxiety or may ask for the other parent when they’re not around.
Toddlers and preschoolers between the ages of 18 months and 6 years old may revert back to behaviors like clinginess, bedwetting, thumb sucking, and temper tantrums.
If you notice regression, it may be a sign of increased stress on your child or their difficulty with transition. These behaviors can be worrisome — and you may not know where to start with helping your little one. The keys here are continual reassurance and consistency in the environment — actions that make your child feel safe.
One 2019 study poses the question of whether or not children literally carry the weight of divorce. While body mass index (BMI) in kids doesn’t immediately show an impact, the BMI over time may be “significantly” higher than children who haven’t gone through divorce. And these effects are particularly noted in kids who experience separation before turning 6 years old.
Children in most age groups also encounter sleep issues, which may contribute to weight gain. This goes back to regression, but also includes things like nightmares or belief in monsters or other fantastical beings that bring about feelings of anxiety around bedtime.
When parents fight, research explains that children go through both cognitive dissonance and loyalty conflict. This is just a fancy way of saying that they feel uncomfortable being stuck in the middle, not knowing if they should side with one parent over another.
This may show up as an intense need for “fairness” even if it’s harmful to their own development. Kids may also show their discomfort with increased stomachaches or headaches.
While a child may initially feel low or sad about the divorce, studies report that children of divorce are at risk of developing clinical depression. Even more concerning, a few are also at higher risk of suicide threats or attempts.
While these issues can impact kids of any age, they tend to be more prominent with kids ages 11 years and older. And boys may be more at risk of suicidal thoughts than girls, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Enlisting the help of a licensed mental health professional is critically important for this reason.
Related: Yes — children need to take mental health days
Abuse of alcohol and drugs, aggressive behavior, and early introduction to sexual activity are also possible. For example, studies show that teen girls tend to have sex at earlier ages when they live in a household where the father isn’t present.
Research does not show the same risk for boys. And this early “sexual debut” may be attributed to several factors, including modified beliefs about marriage and thoughts on childbearing.
- Ashley Marcin
Mar 15, 2019 · Children can be affected by their parents’ divorce in different capacities, depending on the nature of divorce as well as the parents’ relationship post-divorce. That said, there are often harmful effects on children of divorce, as well as struggles in coping and important lessons learned.
Sep 22, 2024 · Moreover, it’s important to recognize the potential for positive growth and outcomes. Many children of divorce develop enhanced coping skills, increased empathy, and a strong sense of independence that serves them well throughout their lives. The experience, while challenging, can foster personal growth and strengthen certain family bonds.
Aug 22, 2023 · Summary. Caregiver divorce or separation can affect a child’s mental health, academic performance, and daily routine. However, parents and caregivers can take steps to reduce this impact and ...
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Sep 6, 2023 · Effects of Divorce on Toddlers (18 Months to 3 Years Old) Divorce can emotionally and psychologically impact children from ages 18 months to 3 years. During the toddler years, a child's main bond ...
