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Feb 21, 2023 · Here are 13 signs that your relationship may be nearing its conclusion: Abuse of any sort—physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, financial, spiritual, etc.—is present and there is no willingness ...
- Overview
- Signs Your Marriage is Falling Apart
- Stages of a Marriage Breakdown
- Ways to Save Your Marriage
- How to Know if the Marriage is Too Far Gone
- Moving On After Separation
If you're starting to feel as though your marriage is falling apart, you're not alone. A lifetime partnership takes work and many couples start to feel as though they're growing apart and things aren't working out the way they imagined or intended. If you and your spouse are still able to speak openly and honestly, there are ways to heal your bond. Read on for warning signs your marriage is crumbling, how to resurrect it, and how to take care of yourself if the two of you need to go your separate ways.
If you feel contempt for your spouse and don't like spending time with them, those are strong signs that your marriage might be headed downhill.
Heal yourself first so that you can commit to resolving the core issues that you and your spouse are facing.
Talk openly and honestly with your spouse about your problems to see if the two of you can find solutions by working together rather than against each other.
You've started to grow apart.
People grow and change through the years—that's inevitable. But if you and your spouse start growing apart rather than growing together, it signals that your marriage could be over. This is especially true if you have different interests than you used to and just don't enjoy doing the same things anymore.
For example, if both of you used to play on a community softball team, but now your spouse has taken up tennis and you're swimming, you no longer have that common interest.
Having separate interests can be a good thing, but if you're not taking an interest in what your spouse is doing and
, your relationship could be headed downhill.
There's little to no physical or emotional intimacy.
The first stage might be something that you only recognize in retrospect. You start to see your spouse negatively and frequently criticize them (or they criticize you). You look for ways to make yourself look good and make them look bad in comparison. You're setting yourself up against them, viewing the two of you as competitors rather than teammates. This is a breakdown in communication because you're focusing on what they do or don't do that you don't like, rather than talking about any problems in your relationship.
For example, you might start doing more household chores so that you can claim that you do all of the work around the house while they just sit around watching TV.
This pattern can make you feel better about yourself temporarily, but you feel worse about them. The more you criticize them, the more your negative opinion of them grows.
Once you reach this stage, either one or both of you has dug your heels in and refuses to dig deep to understand the problems in your relationship. Instead, whenever you try to talk to your spouse, you feel like you're talking to a brick wall. They might even agree with you and promise that things will change, but then nothing ever really does.
Reflect on your marriage and identify the source of the problems.
When you and your spouse are arguing, you're rarely arguing about the specific thing that starts the fight. There's usually something going on beneath the surface. Drill down to find the source of the animosity and you'll have a better chance of resolving things.
For example, you might be arguing about how your spouse always leaves their dirty dishes in the sink, but the fight isn't really about the dishes—it's about how you feel as though your spouse is taking you for granted or not appreciating the things you do.
with each other directly and openly.
Make time to have serious conversations with your spouse about your problems and commit to a judgment-free zone. Talk to each other about your problems and your feelings and try to empathize with each other. When you can understand where your spouse is coming from, you're better able to find a solution.
Use "I" statements to communicate your thoughts and feelings. For example, you might say, "I feel taken for granted and unappreciated when you leave dishes in the sink."
Your spouse refuses to communicate with you.
When you first start feeling disconnected from your spouse, you might not actually know what the problem is. Open and honest communication is the best way to get to the root of why things don't feel like they once did. But if your spouse won't communicate with you at all, there's nothing you can do to make the relationship better.
For example, if you bring up the disconnect and say that things have felt off to you, but your spouse insists that they haven't noticed anything and feel like everything's just fine, you're likely not going to be able to salvage the marriage.
Being able to share painful emotions can bring the two of you closer. But if you don't feel comfortable doing that, there's not much else you can really do to save the marriage at that point.
Your spouse is unwilling to admit how they contributed to the breakdown.
When it seems like your spouse is always right, you're going to have a hard time finding common ground. Usually, this is a defense mechanism because your spouse doesn't want to be vulnerable. But if they're not willing to be vulnerable with you, there's likely not much hope left for your marriage.
Do what you can to
This is a stressful time for you and anything you can do to minimize the effects of that stress will go a long way. Experiment with different things like journaling, walking in nature, meditating, or doing yoga to help ease your stress.
Talk to a professional if you feel like that would be beneficial for you. They can help you come up with some tactics for easing stress that would work best for you given your personal circumstances and lifestyle.
Don't be afraid to set something aside if it isn't working for you. Just because something is highly recommended doesn't mean it's going to help you personally.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings and grieve your loss.
The end of a marriage is a loss similar to death. The future you imagined for yourself and your life with your spouse is over. Denying your feelings or pushing them down won't help you process what's happened. Live in the moment and validate your own feelings—whatever you feel in the moment is okay. You're healing.
Dec 6, 2023 · 2. Enabling Negative Behavior. Spouses are sometimes reluctant to confront or address negative actions or habits within the relationship. For instance, traits such as selfishness or a lack of ...
Jun 29, 2021 · Also, just being close physically counts too — touching, holding hands, hugging, cuddling. 7. Myth: Going to couples therapy means we have serious issues. Truth: I see a fair number of couples ...
Jan 31, 2024 · Recognize the early signs your relationship is falling apart and determine whether to fix it – or leave it. Why do relationships fall apart: 9 heartbreaking reasons. Relationships can fall apart for several reasons. Usually, it is not just one reason a relationship would fall apart. It is primarily a combination of several factors. Loss of trust
Mar 19, 2023 · It’s because you are no longer excited to go home. This is one of the things that inevitably leads to the realization that your marriage is falling apart. 9. You are no longer happy. One of the final things that you should realize why do relationships end is when you no longer feel happy.
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Jan 17, 2024 · Marriage requires effort and intention from both partners. Actions, gestures and shared experiences play a crucial role in nurturing love and maintaining a healthy connection. While openness and ...
