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Jul 19, 2024 · Need a good laugh? Check out 300 funny quotes to make you laugh out loud and improve your day with a few chuckles along the way.
- Funny Inspirational Work Quotes
- Funny Inspirational Movie Quotes
- Funny Inspirational Life Quotes
- Funny Inspirational TV Quotes
- Funny Inspirational Friendship Quotes
- Funny Inspirational Love Quotes
RD.com, Getty Images 1. “When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” —Theodore Roosevelt 2. “Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.” —Tina Fey 3. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” —Edward Bergen 4. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s ...
RD.com, Getty Images 23. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” —Ferris Bueller’s Day Off(1986) 24. “A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” —Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory(1971) 25. “Why, sometimes I’ve believed six impossible things before breakfast.” —Alice in...
RD.com, Getty Images 36. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” —Elbert Hubbard 37. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” —Katharine Hepburn 38. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade, and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” —Ron White 39. “My therapi...
50. “Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.” —Stanley Hudson, The Office 51. “Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews!” —Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants 52. “Your soul is like your appendix—I don’t even use it!” —Michael Kelso, That ’70s Show 53. “What am I scared of? I’m scared of the same thing t...
RD.com, Getty Images 70. “True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway.” —Edna Buchanan 71. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” —Oprah Winfrey 72. “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend ...
RD.com, Getty Images 87. “There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate.” —Barack Obama 88. “Marriage: a friendship recognized by the police.” —Robert Louis Stevenson 89. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
- “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”
- “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”
- “Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.”
- “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
Aug 31, 2023 · Sometimes inspirational quotes can be a bit boring and don’t inspire much. These funny quote alternatives call for the humorous side of motivation while still giving you the spark to get some work done. Use these to inspire a friend and make them giggle, or print them out for your mood board.
- “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later. " —Mitch Hedberg.
- “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room.” —President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove.
- “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.” —Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls.
- “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.” —David Letterman.
Funny Quotes. Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twain. Inspirational, Life, Hilarious. 2616 Copy quote. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: You wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” - John Gotti “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a room with a mosquito.” - Dalai Lama “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” - Oscar Wilde
