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Jan 4, 2024 · If you do it right, your online conversation starter will energize her like a shot of espresso. 3. Don’t obsess. Many guys will get a little too creative when coming up with a unique icebreaker. 9/10 times that makes them look a little desperate. And desperation or neediness isn’t exactly attractive.
6 days ago · Lead With Humor. Online dating can be frustrating, creepy, and disheartening, but it can also be lots of fun. Show potential mates your lighter side with opening lines, questions, and icebreakers ...
Sep 18, 2023 · September 18, 2023 · 12 min read. A Grown-Up’s Guide to Online DatingGetty Images. I dove back into the online dating pool recently, having ended an LTR (for those fortunate enough to be ...
- Amy Conway
- Overview
- Ask them about something they put in their profil
- Play “Would You Rathe”
- Ask open-ended question
- Ask what they’re looking fo
- Talk about what you’re looking for in a relationshi
- Ask a deep, meaningful questio
- Make a dat
You’ve matched with the cutie of your dreams on Bumble or Tinder—now all that’s left to do is slide into their DMs! But how do you strike up a convo in a way that’s fresh and original, and how do you keep the conversation going? To help you make a positive and lasting first impression, we’ve assembled expert tips for breaking the ice on a dating app, plus over 50 customizable scripting ideas to help get you started. Get ready to meet your soulmate!
This article is based on an interview with our professional dating and life coach, Lisa Shield.
Check out the full interview here.
Ask your match questions about something they wrote in their profile to show you’re interested in them and share their interests.
Play “Would You Rather”—it’s a fun way to learn more about one another and see if you’re compatible.
Be direct and ask what they’re looking for in a relationship, or share what you’re looking for.
Acknowledging their profile will show you’re invested in them.
In the modern age, we’re all just swiping and swiping and swiping through profiles, so take the time to really look at what someone’s written in their bio—mean a lot. Plus, studies show people love to talk about themselves if given the chance!
Break the ice with the hottie you’ve matched with
by pointing out something specific you noticed in their profile and asking them more about it.
“So you were in Maine over the summer? I’ve never been! What’s it like?”
“Ah, so nice to meet someone else who loves Buddy Holly as much as I do! What’s your favorite song?”
"Would You Rather” is a great way to learn more about their personality.
It’s not only a fun, lighthearted game; it really gives you insight into the way someone thinks (and gives them insight about you too!). Next time you match with a hot single, make a lasting impression by
opening with “Would you rather…”
“...be a dog or a flower?”
“...live for 20 years or live for a hundred years?”
“...live by the ocean or in the forest?”
Open questions give them the chance to say whatever they want.
This will help you learn more about them—and it’ll take some pressure off of
to be a great conversationalist!
and follow up with prompts that
, like “Tell me more about that!” It's a great way to get someone to open up and feel more comfortable.
Stay on topic rather than jumping from new question to new question, or else it could come off like an interrogation. (
Make sure you're looking for the same thing from the get-go.
There’s no harm in being proactive with your icebreaker! Ask what they’re looking for in a relationship (
they’re looking for a relationship) to help you determine if it’s worth pursuing a first date with them. Are they looking for something long-term? A summer fling? Getting right to the point can save you both some time, but be sure to say “hello” first to avoid coming across too brusque!
“So, what brings you to the dating app world?”
“Are you more interested in a deep connection or just a casual thing?”
“Do you see yourself settling down eventually?”
Let them know what your intentions are off the bat.
If you're hesitant to ask them what they’re looking for, just
let them know what you’ve got in mind yourself
Are you looking for a serious relationship, are you here for just a casual fling, or are you just along for the ride?
“Hey there! I’m looking for something that has potential to become a long-term thing—that OK with you?”
“Hi! I just moved to town and would love to meet some new people and get the lay of the land.”
Get up close and personal to learn who they really are.
Lots of people appreciate small talk as an opportunity to get comfortable with one another before getting into a more serious topic. But asking a deep question right off the bat can help you
sooner. Plus, their willingness to engage in a personal conversation with a stranger can give you a sense of how open their personality is.
That’s not to say it’s a red flag if they choose not to get too deep with a stranger—they may not feel comfortable talking about certain deep subjects, or they may just be shy.
“What’s been your most meaningful life experience so far?”
“What, in your opinion, is the most pressing political issue today?”
Kick it old-school: plan a first date and get to know them IRL.
Skip over the virtual get-to-know-yous and jump ahead to the
portion of the chat. You can get to know each other in person over your favorite pizza or a game of darts. (Just make sure you meet in a public place and tell your friends where you’re going!) Even if it turns out not to be a match made in heaven, who knows? You may still have a great time. And if not, you’ve got a good story to share on a future first date.
"Let's get coffee" might be your go-to first date, but if you don't know someone well (or at all), it can be a little awkward just sitting there. Try to make your first date somewhat activity-based, like mini-golfing or a walk in the park (with coffee) to give you both something to focus on.
“I’ll get right to the point—you seem cool, and I’d love to get to know you better off the app if you’re game!”
“When's the last time you've been putt-putt golfing? Follow-up question: what are you doing tomorrow?”
- Quality over quantity. A lot of people make the mistake of messaging a bunch of potential matches instead of focusing only on the best ones. Some even come up with one or a few creative messages and copy-paste them to everyone.
- Research their profile. Online dating gives you an opportunity to learn more about the person before contacting them, so use that to your advantage. Don’t start with “Hi, how are you?”
- Find common ground. When you research their profile, the most important thing that you should look for is something that you have in common with them.
- Share something about yourself. You should mention things from their profile. Just remember, they already know who they are, but they don’t know who you are.
Oct 23, 2022 · Be as unique as possible in how you express your interests. "It's better to be more of yourself and distill the essence of who you are more clearly," she said. "So it doesn't matter if you put 80% ...
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Sep 11, 2024 · If the conversation has taken a dull or awkward turn, try using humor to lighten things up. Share a funny story, a meme, or a light-hearted joke related to something they’ve mentioned. Humor can quickly shift the mood and make the conversation fun again. It also shows you’re not afraid to be playful and silly.
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