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- Time is never enough: Regardless of the duration of your relationship, losing your partner feels like an eternal loss. Whether you spent one day or several decades together, the feeling of being robbed of precious moments is universal among widows.
- I knew, but I still wasn’t ready: Even if you anticipate your spouse’s passing due to illness or other circumstances, the emotional preparation is never enough.
- Memories of the funeral: In the midst of grief, certain details of the funeral and burial become hazy, if not entirely forgotten. The intensity of emotions can create a numbing effect, protecting our minds from fully absorbing the traumatic events surrounding the loss.
- The emotions of fresh grief: The immediate aftermath of losing a spouse is filled with a huge mix of emotions. Surprisingly, my initial reaction wasn’t overwhelming sadness; it was relief.
- It sucks. I'm not going to try to make it sound better than that. I can't. It just sucks. Not only do you lose the person you love and your partner in life, but your children also lose their father.
- You become "that person" people stare at in the supermarket. For months after my husband died, I didn't want to leave my house. I felt like the whole world was watching me.
- People do and say the dumbest things around you. Some people seem to feel awkward and just don’t know how to handle the situation. That is their problem, not yours.
- Friends and family may not always understand that you don't have time. Everyone means well with phone calls, emails and texts, but it is impossible to give everyone a response in a timely manner.
Dec 17, 2022 · “How to Talk to a Widow” has some thoughtful and helpful suggestions. I’d like to add some others based on my experience as a psychotherapist, a widow and a facilitator for groups of widows.
- You can’t screw this up. People will judge, you’ll be looked at strangely, and the worst part is that there will be times you feel like a failure. This is when to stop and remember there is no right way to be a widow, no matter what anyone says.
- People really are trying to help. Sometimes it won’t feel like help, but they are doing the best they know how. Probably not many in your circle are widows, and even those that are will get it wrong.
- Relationships will change. Friendships you thought would last will disappear — sometimes slowly, sometimes overnight. Connections with the military community will morph.
- It is OK to be angry. Being a widow sucks and being a military widow brings a whole new layer of complication to the situation. It is normal — I’d say almost universal — to get angry at points along the way.
Mar 26, 2017 · So here it is boiled down to ten things I learned my first year as a widow. Survival is possible. The first days and weeks after losing my husband I wasn’t sure how I’d survive, or if I even ...
- Jodi Whitsitt
Mar 4, 2022 · Women shouldn’t be surprised to learn they will outlive their husbands. Women live longer than men and tend to marry older men. Among married Americans, 58 percent of women age 75 and older experience widowhood, compared to 28 percent of men.
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Aug 8, 2023 · I believe all of us can learn to adapt and move forward in widowhood. Certain intentional activities or practices may help us on our journey.
