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- This love language is based on the idea that we can show love through our actions, such as by going out of our way to help a friend or taking on extra household responsibilities when a family member or partner is stressed.
www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/acts-of-service-a-guide-to-expressing-love-through-action/
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What is ACT with Love?
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What is act & how does it work?
What is an act of service?
What is love & attachment & affection?
The aim of ACT: to create a rich, full and meaningful life, while accepting the pain that inevitably goes with it. A key message: accept what is out of your personal control, and commit to action that enriches your life. CONTACTING THE PRESENT MOMENT.
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Harris’s ACT with Love takes acceptance and commit-ment therapy into the realm of couplehood in a kind, thoughtful, and realistic way. Share it with couples everywhere and use it in your own relationship. I plan to!”. —Robyn D. Walser, Ph.D., author of The Mindful Couple.
- Overview
- How Do You Know You're Feeling Love for Someone?
- Are There Different Types of Love?
- Is Love Influenced By Biology or Culture?
- How to Show Love to Another Person
- How Love Impacts Your Mental Health
- Tips for Cultivating Love
- Negative Emotions Associated With Love
- History of Love
- Take the Love Quiz
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When it comes to love, some people would say it is one of the most important human emotions. Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust.
Many say it's not an emotion in the way we typically understand them, but an essential physiological drive.
Love is a physiological motivation such as hunger, thirst, sleep, and sex drive.
— PSYCHOLOGIST AND BIOLOGIST ENRIQUE BURUNAT
There are countless songs, books, poems, and other works of art about love (you probably have one in mind as we speak!). Yet despite being one of the most studied behaviors, it is still the least understood. For example, researchers debate whether love is a biological or cultural phenomenon.
Zick Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving
According to psychologist Zick Rubin, romantic love is made up of three elements: Attachment: Needing to be with another person and desiring physical contact and approval Caring: Valuing the other person's happiness and needs as much as your own Intimacy: Sharing private thoughts, feelings, and desires with the other person Based on this view of romantic love, Rubin developed two questionnaires to measure these variables, known as Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving. While people tend to view people they like as pleasant, love is marked by being devoted, possessive, and confiding in one another.
Yup—not all forms of love are the same, and psychologists have identified a number of different types of love that people may experience.
These types of love include:
•Friendship: This type of love involves liking someone and sharing a certain degree of intimacy.
•Infatuation: This form of love often involves intense feelings of attraction without a sense of commitment; it often takes place early in a relationship and may deepen into a more lasting love.
•Passionate love: This type of love is marked by intense feelings of longing and attraction; it often involves an idealization of the other person and a need to maintain constant physical closeness.
•Compassionate/companionate love: This form of love is marked by trust, affection, intimacy, and commitment.
Love is most likely influenced by both biology and culture. Although hormones and biology are important, the way we express and experience love is also influenced by our own conceptions of love.
Some researchers suggest that love is a basic human emotion just like happiness or anger, while others believe that it is a cultural phenomenon that arises partly due to social pressures and expectations.
There is no single way to practice love. Every relationship is unique, and each person brings their own history and needs. Some things that you can do to show love to the people you care about include:
•Be willing to be vulnerable.
•Be willing to forgive.
•Do your best, and be willing to apologize when you make mistakes.
•Let them know that you care.
•Listen to what they have to say.
Love, attachment, and affection have an important impact on well-being and quality of life. Loving relationships have been linked to:
•Lower risk of heart disease
•Decreased risk of dying after a heart attack
•Better health habits
•Increased longevity
•Lower stress levels
Lasting relationships are marked by deep levels of trust, commitment, and intimacy. Some things that you can do to help cultivate loving relationships include:
•Try loving-kindness meditation. Loving-kindness meditation (LKM) is a technique often used to promote self-acceptance and reduce stress, but it has also been shown to promote a variety of positive emotions and improve interpersonal relationships. LKM involves meditating while thinking about a person you love or care about, concentrating on warm feelings and your desire for their well-being and happiness.
•Communicate. Everyone's needs are different. The best way to ensure that your needs and your loved one's needs are met is to talk about them. Helping another person feel loved involves communicating that love to them through words and deeds. Some ways to do this include showing that you care, making them feel special, telling them they are loved, and doing things for them.
•Tackle conflict in a healthy way. Never arguing is not necessarily a sign of a healthy relationship—more often than not, it means that people are avoiding an issue rather than discussing it. Rather than avoid conflict, focus on hashing out issues in ways that are healthy in order to move a relationship forward in a positive way.
As Shakespeare said, the course of love never did run smooth. Love can vary in intensity and can change over time. It is associated with a range of positive emotions, including happiness, excitement, life satisfaction, and euphoria, but it can also result in negative emotions such as jealousy and stress.
No relationship is perfect, so there will always be problems, conflicts, misunderstandings, and disappointments that can lead to distress or heartbreak.
Some of the potential pitfalls of experiencing love include:
•Anxiety
•Depression
•Increased stress
Only fairly recently has love become the subject of science. In the past, the study of love was left to "the creative writer to depict for us the necessary conditions for loving," according to Sigmund Freud. "In consequence, it becomes inevitable that science should concern herself with the same materials whose treatment by artists has given enjoyment to mankind for thousands of years," he added.
Research on love has grown tremendously since Freud's remarks. But early explorations into the nature and reasons for love drew considerable criticism. During the 1970s, U.S. Senator William Proxmire railed against researchers who were studying love and derided the work as a waste of taxpayer dollars.
Our fast and free quiz can help you determine if what you've got is the real deal or simply a temporary fling or infatuation.
As a Relationship Coach, These Are the 5 Things About Love I Tell Every Couple
13 Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
1.Burunat E. Love is not an emotion. Psychology. 2016;07(14):1883. doi:10.4236/psych.2016.714173
2.Karandashev V. A Cultural Perspective on Romantic Love. ORPC. 2015;5(4):1-21. doi:10.9707/2307-0919.1135
Sep 19, 2022 · An act of service is the physical expression of a thoughtful gesture. It's one of the five love languages, which are specific styles of showing love. At its core, an act of service is about someone going out of their way to meaningfully help and support the other person.
Jan 1, 2009 · 'ACT with Love' starts with the premise that the best thing in a relationship is to do what's helpful for the relationship, rather than who is right or wrong. It's filled with lots of helpful worksheets to make it easy to do the exercises and experience change in your relationship.
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Jul 29, 2024 · Social psychologist Erich Fromm thinks that loving is a skill that takes practice: what he calls “standing in love.” When you stand in love, you act in certain ways toward a person.
Dec 18, 2013 · A wish to offer pleasure and satisfaction to another. Tenderness, compassion, and sensitivity to the needs of the other. A desire for shared activities and pursuits. An appropriate level of...
