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Jun 13, 2023 · Generally, when people fail at something, their immediate response is self-loathing. They’ll berate themselves for being idiots or losers because they didn’t succeed at their attempt. Instead of thinking “I failed at this,” their inner voice says “I AM A FAILURE.”
- Finn Robinson
- Be kind to yourself. It’s an old one, but a good one: practise some self-compassion. Being self-compassionate entails being kind and non-judgemental towards yourself in the face of difficulty — including failure.
- Resist “socially prescribed perfectionism” If you feel that other people expect you to be perfect, and will judge you harshly if you fail to meet their expectations, you experience this type of perfectionism.
- Don’t worry too much if you were over-confident — and wrong. Overconfidence is not a good thing; it leads us to study less hard and make more mistakes.
- Try not to take evidence of failure too personally. A recent set of studies on almost 1,700 American participants, published in Psychological Science, found that feedback on what they had got wrong on a variety of tests or tasks rather than what they had got right — a “failure focus” rather than a “success focus” — undermined subsequent learning.
- Embrace Your Emotions. Failure is accompanied by a variety of emotions: embarrassment, anxiety, anger, sadness, and shame, to name a few. Those feelings are uncomfortable, and many people will do anything they can to escape feeling emotional discomfort.
- Recognize Unhealthy Attempts to Reduce Pain. You might be tempted to say, “I didn’t actually want that job anyway,” but minimizing your pain won’t make it go away.
- Practice Healthy Coping Skills. Calling a friend, practicing deep breathing, taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, or playing with your pet are just a few examples of healthy ways to deal with your pain.
- Acknowledge Irrational Beliefs About Failure. You may have developed some irrational beliefs about failure at some point in your life. Perhaps you think failure means you’re bad or that you’ll never succeed.
The bottom line is that failure is what you make of it. It’s important to understand why these feelings around failure occur, what happens in our brains when they do, and how to tackle them head-on. Why Are We Scared of Failing? When it comes to understanding failure, we first have to understand why we are scared of failing.
Mar 5, 2024 · In general, people who feel like a failure often report the following feelings: Self-doubt. Hopelessness. Depression. Anxiety. Embarrassment. Pessimism. Harsh self-talk. Low self-esteem. Shame. Wanting to give up. What fuels the feeling of failure? To start feeling better, you need to understand the source of your emotions.
May 14, 2024 · Negative thoughts and a negative perception of failure can make you feel like giving up or increase your stress level, but you're not alone. These responses to failure may seem to undermine your confidence and self-esteem, demotivating you and causing a shift in mood.
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Oct 30, 2016 · You could live a safe and boring life that is relatively free of failure if you wanted. But if you want to become a better version of yourself, you need to do things that might cause you...
