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- As widows move through their own experiences of grief, loss, or trauma after the death of a spouse, they may also face economic insecurity, discrimination, stigmatization, and harmful traditional practices on the basis of their marital status.
www.unwomen.org/en/news/stories/2021/6/explainer-what-you-should-know-about-widowhood
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- Time is never enough: Regardless of the duration of your relationship, losing your partner feels like an eternal loss. Whether you spent one day or several decades together, the feeling of being robbed of precious moments is universal among widows.
- I knew, but I still wasn’t ready: Even if you anticipate your spouse’s passing due to illness or other circumstances, the emotional preparation is never enough.
- Memories of the funeral: In the midst of grief, certain details of the funeral and burial become hazy, if not entirely forgotten. The intensity of emotions can create a numbing effect, protecting our minds from fully absorbing the traumatic events surrounding the loss.
- The emotions of fresh grief: The immediate aftermath of losing a spouse is filled with a huge mix of emotions. Surprisingly, my initial reaction wasn’t overwhelming sadness; it was relief.
- It sucks. I'm not going to try to make it sound better than that. I can't. It just sucks. Not only do you lose the person you love and your partner in life, but your children also lose their father.
- You become "that person" people stare at in the supermarket. For months after my husband died, I didn't want to leave my house. I felt like the whole world was watching me.
- People do and say the dumbest things around you. Some people seem to feel awkward and just don’t know how to handle the situation. That is their problem, not yours.
- Friends and family may not always understand that you don't have time. Everyone means well with phone calls, emails and texts, but it is impossible to give everyone a response in a timely manner.
Mar 26, 2017 · So here it is boiled down to ten things I learned my first year as a widow. Survival is possible. The first days and weeks after losing my husband I wasn’t sure how I’d survive, or if I even ...
- Jodi Whitsitt
- Survival is possible. The first days and weeks after losing my husband I wasn’t sure how I’d survive, or if I even wanted to. Losing my spouse crumbled my foundation and the pain was unbearable at times.
- My Inner Circle has changed. I really struggled with disappointment and hurt over the loss of what I thought I somehow deserved from friends. When they fell short, I felt abandoned.
- The pain doesn’t lessen. Although it’s true that maybe I cry softer and maybe even less frequently, the pain hasn’t really lessened. In many ways, it’s intensified.
- I will not ever be the same person again. At the one-year mark, I’ve realized the old me is gone. She died with my husband. In her place there is emerging a new, changed person that begs to be discovered.
- Lean on those who love you – Especially in the beginning. Let them bring you food, or give you financial support, or run errands for you, or watch your kids for you.
- People say insensitive things when they don’t understand, ignore them – They don’t mean it. And worse even, they think they’re helping, but really they’re uncomfortable and want to fix the unfixable.
- See a therapist – Just do it. Having a professional, neutral and unbiased resource who can help you comprehend and sift through the confusing and complicated feelings that grief brings in is endlessly helpful.
- Hydrate and nourish yourself – I know you may not feel hungry or thirsty, but our bodies need fuel to function optimally. This is especially true in the face of lifes most difficult challenges.
Jan 28, 2020 · The first case is when a widow goes through people’s tough words for her. People being judgmental would leave no way to hurt her. This is the time when survival is hardest for her. Second case is when it comes from people close to her. A widow is surrounded by many people, friends and family, in her circle.
Widow Stories – When you are widowed you wonder if you’re the only one that stays in bed in the middle of the day because it’s just too much effort to get on with life. Or maybe you’re so busy that you haven’t had time to stop and grieve, and you wonder if there are other widows like you.
