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- Why did the heart break up with the brain? Because it was tired of following logic over love!
- What do you call a heart that can play the piano? A beat-oven virtuoso.
- Why was the heart a great musician? It had a perfect beat.
- Why did the heart apply for a job? It wanted to make a living on the pulse.
A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship. Rainer Maria Rilke. "The heart of another is a dark forest, always..." - Willa Cather quotes from BrainyQuote.com.
- Why did the heart start a band? It has the best beat!
- Why don’t hearts ever get lost? They always follow their own beat.
- Why did the heart go to school? To get a little more ‘pumped’ about knowledge!
- Why did the heart break up with the brain? It said, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
- Hilarious Dark Humor Jokes
- Funniest One-Liners
- The Funniest Dark Jokes
- Laugh-Out-Loud Dark Humor
- Morbid Jokes to Share with Friends
- Dark Doctor Jokes
- Why Trust Us
RD.com, Getty Images 1. Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide. 1. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life. 1. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice. 1. My grandfather ...
RD.com, Getty Images 1. My grief counselor died, but he was so good at his job that I don’t even care. 1. I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy. 1. The internet is like a series of pipes in that both ultimately lead to the sewer. 1. I always tell new hires, “Don’t think of me as your boss; think of me as your ...
RD.com, Getty Images 1. How do you turn any salad into a Caesar salad? Stab it 23 times. 1. What was the convicted murderer’s last request before he got the electric chair? “Hold my hand.” 1. Where did my grandfather go after getting lost in a minefield? Everywhere. 1. An apple a day keeps the doctor away… If you choke on it. 1. Why did Beethoven e...
RD.com, Getty Images 1. Why are cigarettes good for the environment? They kill people. 1. Wanna hear a joke about trickle-down economics? Eh, never mind—99% of you will never get it. 1. How do you kiss someone at the end of the world? On the apocalypse. 1. What is the one place where “I am sorry” and “I apologize” don’t mean the same thing? A funer...
RD.com, Getty Images 1. A man marches into a magic forest with a saw and sets about cutting down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree protests. “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.” 1. The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family. 1. As a child attempts to s...
RD.com, Getty Images 1. My doctor told me that nobody’s ever said to him, “I wish I worked more” on their deathbed. He finds they usually say, “What’s in the syringe, Doc?” 1. What’s the second-worst thing about a doctor discovering you have rectal cancer? When the cops tell you later he wasn’t really a doctor. 1. I just got my doctors test results...
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the past 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knoc...
- Brendan Hay
Jan 8, 2024 · Read on for a whole host (or should that be forest?!) of family-friendly jokes on trees and tree puns. I’ve also included some great tree proverbs, which are perfect if you’d like something a little more meaningful that gets you thinking.
Jul 25, 2024 · But other forests are places of joy, and even make you laugh thanks to some funny forest jokes and forest puns. From branch wordplay to root puns and timber jokes, here are the best forest jokes to make you chuckle.
People also ask
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Funny heart puns and jokes never get old. You can either use them literally, or toss them in when the topic of conversation shifts to love and relationships (it always does). Either way, having some of these memorized will give you a way to bring out a smile, chuckle, or groan from your friends.
