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  1. www.quotes.net › movies › swiss_toni_106677Swiss Toni Quotes

    Great memorable quotes and script exchanges from the Swiss Toni movie on Quotes.net

    • Paul

      A great memorable quote from the Swiss Toni movie on...

    • Geoff

      Swiss Toni is a fictional used-car dealer played by Charlie...

  2. Words of wisdom from the immortal Swiss Tony. Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir... gently and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.

  3. Jul 11, 2003 · 1. MAKING COFFEE. Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir...gently, and firmly. You've got to grind...

  4. A great memorable quote from the The Fast Show movie on Quotes.net - Swiss Toni: Putting up a tent is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Unzip the door, put up your pole, and slip into the old bag.

    • Season Three, Episode One
    • Season Two, Episode Two
    • Season One, Episode Four
    • Season One, Episode Six
    Duke: Me, the 13th Duke of Wybourne? Here? At a French maids finishing school? At three o'clock in the morning? With myreputation? Bingo!
    Duke: Me, the 13th Duke of Wybourne? Here? In a student-nurses hall of residence? At three o'clock in the morning? With myreputation? Has no-one thought of the consequences? Oh well.
    Chris: My name's Chris, erm, I am an alcoholic...
    [AA group claps]
    ...I have got a problem, I can accept that, I'm not gonna give in to it. I'm gonna take each day as it comes. I've done a few bad things. I started when I was 14, drinking the usual cider, Newcastl...
    AA Leader: We've all been there.
    Chris: Then, I moved on to stronger things, Night Nurse, Benylin. I was basically drinkin anything I could get my hands on, and that's why I came today.
    AA Leader: Well done, Chris.

    Brilliant: Aren't kids brilliant thes days? They're 'appy just sittin' 'round plain' video games, you don't have to worry 'bout 'em getting run over or 'owt, fantastic. When I were a kid I used to get dead bored, me Dad used t' say that when he were a kid... [cuts to Rubbish Dad] Rubbish Dad: ...all I needed were a bit o' string... [cuts back to Br...

    Brilliant: YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH...aren't mams brilliant? They give birth to you, you know, they 'have' you, an' that. And then they look after you, for as long as you want. You don't have to p...
    [he trips and falls over his own feet]
    Brilliant: I fell over, brilliant.
  5. Jun 9, 2015 · The amount of hilarious metaphors, anecdotes and stories he has about “making love to a beautiful woman” would put Casanova to shame. His best quote: His advise on laying carpet ;

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  7. Oct 2, 2007 · At home his timid wife Ruth is condemned to a passionless marriage in which she spends more time mothering Toni than loving him... which is fortunate given his real mum is a harridan whose ...

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