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Jul 26, 2020 · We've picked some of our favourite one-liners and short jokes from Britain's finest comics to help us get through self-isolation
- Hugh Francis Anderson
- “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back” – Oscar Wilde.
- “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings” – Robert Bloch.
- “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad” – Miles Kington.
- “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher” – Socrates.
May 13, 2019 · Here are 50 of the funniest jokes from the mouths of Scottish comedians: Advertisement. Hide Ad. “I'm learning the hokey cokey. Not all of it. But I've got the ins and outs.” – Iain Stirling. “I...
Mar 24, 2021 · Here are some of the best funny quotes from his stand-up routines. 1. "I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that." -Mitch Hedberg. 2. "My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." -Mitch Hedberg.
Oliver: 'Now we're getting somewhere. Is he living?' Stanley: 'No. He fell through a trap door and broke his neck.' Oliver: 'Was he building a house?' Stanley: 'No, they were hanging him.'
“Just when you thought that dogma had reinvented cinema for the last time, the directors Paulus & Hillebrand conjure up the magic of the unexpected for the screen with an unusual method and an equally unusual heroine.”
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Aug 14, 2024 · 24. “Sarcasm and compassion are two of the qualities that make life on Earth tolerable.”. — Nick Hornby, Songbook. 25. “Sarcasm: helping the intelligent tolerate the obtuse for thousands ...
