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Jul 26, 2020 · We've picked some of our favourite one-liners and shorter jokes from Britain's finest comics to help us get through self-isolation
- Hugh Francis Anderson
- “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back” – Oscar Wilde.
- “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings” – Robert Bloch.
- “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad” – Miles Kington.
- “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher” – Socrates.
Oliver: 'Now we're getting somewhere. Is he living?' Stanley: 'No. He fell through a trap door and broke his neck.' Oliver: 'Was he building a house?' Stanley: 'No, they were hanging him.'
- “I once spent a year in Philadelphia; I think it was on a Sunday.” C. Fields. Starting off is W.C. Fields, the legendary comedian, who delivered this wry observation, capturing the essence of his humor and wit.
- “He who can does—he, who cannot, teaches.” George Bernard Shaw. In his quote, George Bernard Shaw discusses the apparent distinctions between people with theoreticalknowledgeand those with actual talents and experience.
- “Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.” Jerry Seinfeld. Here, Jerry Seinfeld makes a droll observation about lipstick, cosmetics, and accepting oneself.
- “Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.” George Bernard Shaw. With this clever paradoxical quote, Shaw expresses his view on the nature of dancing.
Mar 24, 2021 · Their hilarious stories and acts give us an escape from reality, they transport us to a happy place, and simply make us laugh at their hilarious jokes. The funniest comedians can even boost our self-esteem as we can all gain a lot from learning to laugh at ourselves a little in life.
Jul 19, 2024 · Need a good laugh? Check out 300 funny quotes to make you laugh out loud and improve your day with a few chuckles along the way.
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