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  1. May 14, 2024 · From relatable jokes from famous folks to marriage comedy dialogue from your favorite rom-coms, these funny wedding and marriage quotes are ideal for an anniversary card, wedding toasts (think: cheeky best man and bridesmaid toasts), party decor or simply texting your partner after a long day.

    • Jamie Cuccinelli
    • “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” — Milton Berle.
    • “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers.
    • “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft.
    • “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.
  2. We’ve rounded up 52 of the funniest wedding quotes about married life, wedding jokes and wedding anecdotes which can be used in a variety of ways at your wedding from wedding captions on signage to ice breakers at your reception among guests.

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    • “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Emma Bombeck.
    • “My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.”
    • “Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” Anonymous.
    • “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Rita Rudner.
  3. Sep 12, 2024 · Leaving humorous messages on your wedding card or guest book with personal anecdotes about the happy couple, views on children, married life, and sex are all fair game when you’re addressing the newlyweds.

  4. Aug 13, 2023 · Start out the process of writing your wedding wishes with a dash of comedy to lighten the mood. Here is a collection of wed funny quotes from famous and well-known people. These clever gems will make your greeting cards or guestbook entries the talk of the party.

  5. Jun 23, 2023 · From movie characters to celebrities, writers, comedians, and politicians, we gathered 50 funny marriage quotes to inspire everything from wedding and anniversary card messages to your vows.

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