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- A new year of love, humor, and putting up with the in-laws is here! My husband thinks I'm crazy, but I'm not the one who married me! I can't believe how much I'm not sick of you. May your love never run out like toilet paper.
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May 14, 2024 · From relatable jokes from famous folks to marriage comedy dialogue from your favorite rom-coms, these funny wedding and marriage quotes are ideal for an anniversary card, wedding toasts (think: cheeky best man and bridesmaid toasts), party decor or simply texting your partner after a long day.
- Jamie Cuccinelli
- “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” — Milton Berle.
- “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers.
- “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft.
- “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.
- “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Emma Bombeck.
- “My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.”
- “Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” Anonymous.
- “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Rita Rudner.
Dec 12, 2023 · If you can’t laugh at the one you love, who can you laugh at? These hilarious quotes about marriage are relatable for both husbands and wives.
Mar 26, 2024 · Explore our collection of short, funny love quotes perfect for him, her, and couples. Inject humor into your relationship with these witty and endearing phrases guaranteed to make your loved one laugh.
Jun 20, 2024 · From rib-tickling jabs at husbands to witty musings on the complexities of love and money, we’ve got the best funny quotes about marriage right here. Get ready to nod your head and share a knowing smile.
Jun 23, 2023 · From movie characters to celebrities, writers, comedians, and politicians, we gathered 50 funny marriage quotes to inspire everything from wedding and anniversary card messages to your vows.
