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- Alex Nelson
- “When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.” “I had a survey done on my house.
- “My favourite road sign is ‘Falling Rocks’. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying, ‘Random accidents ahead’; ‘Life’s a lottery, Be lucky.'”
- “I was out with a friend and he came over with a pair of girls. I said to him, ‘They’re like buses.’ He said, ‘What? Because you wait for ages and then two come along at once.’
- “Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with, ‘I can’t talk now, I’m going into a tunnel.'” “People with Tourette’s… what makes them tick?”
- Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes. Jimmy Carr. Funny, Humor, Eye.
- My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.
- British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray! Jimmy Carr. Funny, Children, Humor.
- Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?" Jimmy Carr. Funny, Girlfriend, Sex.
- When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff.
- British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray! Jimmy Carr. Funny, Children, Humor.
- If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus? Jimmy Carr. Funny, Jesus, Children.
- My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident. Jimmy Carr. Funny, Father, Humor.
Enjoy the best Jimmy Carr Quotes at BrainyQuote. Quotations by Jimmy Carr, English Comedian, Born September 15, 1972. Share with your friends.
Jimmy Carr's witty quote, "They say the key to a man's heart is through his stomach... but I find using a knife works much better," combines humor and cleverness to highlight the idea that traditional beliefs might not always hold true.
Jimmy Carr's ultimate one liner compilation! A compilation for people who don't have time for long-winded jokes! The Official Channel for the biggest face in British comedy (literally the...
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- Jimmy Carr
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Nov 23, 2022 · Jimmy Carr. 1.15M subscribers. 1.4M views 1 year ago #JimmyCarr #standupcomedy. ...more. Here is a WHOLE HOUR of Jimmy's best jokes taken from the following stand-up specials.
- 60 min
- 1.5M
- Jimmy Carr
