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  1. Sep 10, 2024 · Family Guy's 22 seasons include some classic quotes, from surreal cutaway gags to Peter's most memorable one-liners and Stewie's best comebacks.

    • "Heheheheheheheheh." Much like “sweet! ,” Peter loves to giggle. If we had to describe what his giggle sounded like, we would compare it to a baritone Fran Drescher.
    • "Sweet!" Though this isn’t necessarily a catchphrase, the term “sweet,” is very much part of the Peter Griffin lexicon on Family Guy. Free pint of beer?
    • "I have a confession to make, I did not like The Godfather." One of the most shocking revelations on Family Guy is that Peter Griffin did not like The Godfather, which he reveals to his family when they all think they’re about to drown.
    • "No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking." When Peter wants to find the silver scroll that’s hidden somewhere in a case of Pawtucket Patriot ale, he goes on the bender to end all benders.
    • 17 "Bird Is The word."
    • 16 "Shut Up, Meg."
    • 15 "There's A Message in My Alpha-Bits. It Says 'Oooooo.'"
    • 14 "Let's Go Drink Until We Can't Feel Feelings anymore."
    • 13 "I'll Be Damned If I'm Gonna Be Lectured by A Pervert."
    • 12 "We Took A Lot from The Simpsons."
    • 11 "I May Be An Idiot, But There's One Thing I'm Not Sir, and That Is An idiot."
    • 10 "Whoa, Whoa... Lois, This Is Not My Batman glass."
    • 9 "This Is The Story of Star Wars. Let's Begin with Part Four."
    • 8 "I Always Thought Dogs Laid Eggs. and I Learned Something today."

    Season 7, Episode 2 - "I Dream of Jesus"

    Indulging in shenanigans and beating a joke to death is par for the course on Family Guy, which is part of its unique appeal. Perhaps one of the most consistent gags occurred when Peter discovered the '60s song Surfin’ Bird by The Trashmen, resulting in one of the best Peter Griffin running gags. Obsessed, Peter would often set up some unsuspecting character with a “Haven’t you heard?” before he’d spontaneously break out into the song’s chorus and dance. This seemingly happens whenever the op...

    Season 10, Episode 2 - "Seahorse Seashell Party"

    The amount of vitriol and unabashed hatred Meg seems to engender in her entire family (and her father in particular) is equally disturbing, unwarranted, and hilarious. The Season 10 episode, “Seahorse Seashell Party,” reveals that the family’s animosity towards Meg serves as a way to channel their dysfunction in a way that won’t implode the family and cause its disintegration. That still hasn’t stopped Peter from treating Meg horribly. Still, the funniest bit of Peter’s dumping on Meg is a pe...

    Season 1, Episode 6 - "The Son Also Draws"

    Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane establishes early on and emphatically that Peter's idiocy knows no bounds, setting the stage for some hilarious gags. A prime example of this early in the show's run comes from its very first season, which features Peter and Brian sitting at the kitchen table. Peter seems flabbergasted that his Alpha-Bits® have flashed him an ominous message of an extended "Ooooooo." To cap this off, Brian responds with an irritable "Those are Cheerios." The nonchalant manne...

    Season 3, Episode 19 - "Stuck Together, Torn Apart"

    A major Peter trope -- which is second only to his stupidity -- is his love of beer. It's no secret that the man enjoys throwing back some alcohol. One gem of a quote that further drives this home can be found in the show's third season, which features Peter's friends pulling up to his place in a police vehicle, ready to drink the night away. The quote Griffin delivers before joining his pals in the van has since become an iconic, meme-worthy line, even spawning Family Guy memorabilia featuri...

    Season 3, Episode 22 - "When You Wish Upon A Weinstein"

    Lois certainly isn't shy about calling out her husband's naive, insensitive, and immature ways. One such example comes from the fan-favorite Season 3 episode, "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein," which contains one of the best Peter Griffin quotes. Lois remarks that Peter is acting like a child. His response? An absurd, yet uncharacteristically clever retort, explaining that this would make Lois a "pedophile." He then caps off this silly zinger by walking out of the house and remarking that he w...

    Season 14, Episode 3 - "Guy Robot"

    Many have critiquedFamily Guy for its apparent parallels to another zany animated sitcom, The Simpsons. There are similarities between the respective family members, the random wacky happenings and gags, and a dimwitted father at the forefront of it all. In a move that's both amusing and respectable, Seth MacFarlane and his team of writers acknowledge this head-on with a cheeky fourth wall bit. It features a drunken Peter collapsing on his bed and talking to Lois. As those under the influence...

    Season 5, Episode 3 - "Hell Comes to Quahog"

    Family Guy often thrives on its sense of ironies, absurdities, and oxymorons. Being a prominent character and an unpredictable fool, Peter is naturally the vessel for many of these funny, ironic contradictions. While discussing a possible transaction with a sleazy used car salesman -- Griffin tries to maintain his dignity by making it clear he's not an idiot. Of course, in typical Peter fashion, he utterly fails in this by immediately contradicting himself in about the most amusing way possib...

    Season 4, Episode 2 - "Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr High"

    Another Peter trait that's both condemning and somehow endearing is his obliviousness and aloofness with family happenings. Chris doesn't exactly get much care or attention either. This is illustrated during the episode "Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High," where Peter gets the shocking revelation that his young teenage son is in a relationship with his teacher. With his reaction seemingly conveying disbelief by way of repeating "whoa!," it appears Peter is showing the humanity of a concerne...

    Season 6, Episode 1 - "Blue Harvest"

    Though The Simpsons has plenty of Star Wars references, Family Guy pulled off three whole parody episodes going through the original trilogy and each one contains some of the best Peter Griffin quotes as he plays his own rendition of Han Solo. The Star Wars spoof kicks off with the episode "Blue Harvest." This makes for an emphatic way to ring in the show's 6th season, as the Griffins' deep space adventure satirizes various events and traits of Star Wars beat for beat. This quote serves as a...

    Season 3, Episode 13 - "Screwed the Pooch"

    Brian has had bad relationships on Family Guy, with even one with another dog going awry. Yet, it's Brian's owner who caps off the episode with perhaps its most amusing line as they're walking out of a hospital. After the unsettling Ted Turner-esque offspring of Brian's canine lover Seabreeze are revealed, Peter admits he thought puppies came in another way. The quote would be funny enough on its own merits, but the realistic pause and inclusion of an "um" midway through gives the statement s...

  2. [TOMT] [QUOTE] "i hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child & fell asleep on the couch during a family party. i hope you can hear the laughter from the next room"

  3. Aug 3, 2024 · Family Guy has produced several iconic quotes and hilarious one-liners throughout its run. Which are its most memorable and silliest lines?

  4. Jul 30, 2018 · “I'm planning on dying tonight. What are *your* plans?” — Peter Griffin, Family Guy, Season 15: The Peter Principal. Tagged: Want To Die, plans, SASS. “ Peter Griffin: Oh, hey Lois. I guess you must be happy. Lois Griffin: Yeah, it's every girl's dream to have her husband hoisted out of a food truck in a horse harness.”

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  6. Aug 5, 2023 · There are simply too many amazing Stewie Griffin quotes to consider making a condensed list, so we picked 15 of our favorite quotes that truly show you how his mind works, and how those around...

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