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In the hopes of coming to a more collective understanding of love, we asked 10 people in different stages of their relationship to explain what love means to them. Here’s what they had to say (their answers may surprise you).
- What Is Love?
- The Implicating Gaze
- Mental Models
- The Loving Gaze
- The Benefit of Turning Attention Outward
- Seeing Reality Clearly
- This Is Your Brain on Love
- A Chain Reaction
- Conclusion
Love can be defined in many ways. A common definition I found is “an intense feeling of deep affection”. I like to think of it more broadly, however. I sometimes think of compassion, or simply wishing well toward someone else. I also think of love as attention, though that is just a bit too broad. Perhaps my view of love is best seen through the Bu...
We view ourselves in relation to other people. Self-referential thought — thinking about ourselves— emerged in our species because it was adaptive for us to be able to think about how others see us. We need a representation of ourselves, of how we look and how our actions are perceived by others, in order to function in groups. To have relationship...
We have a representation of how we look to the outside world. But it isn’t that simple. That is our model of ourselves. But everyone else sees the world in a different way. Each person has different information, a different background, different biases, and prejudices. Every person will see us differently and form their own unique mental model of u...
You are in an environment where you feel totally safe. Maybe your living room, or your favorite coffee shop. You are only with your best friends, friends you’ve had for years. Friends who have seen you at your best and worst, and accepted it all. Friends who love you. They are all in a great mood, laughing and joking and smiling. No one has a care ...
The two scenarios described above deal with how other people view you. More specifically, they deal with your perception of how other people view you. Ultimately, we can never actually know what other people are thinking. We are very bad at predicting how other people see us, and we are riddled with cognitive biases that will distort our efforts to...
Now, some skeptical readers might view this as distorting reality: putting on rose-colored glasses to make yourself feel better. However, if we take into account the negativity biasand numerous other cognitive biases built into us by evolution, we can see it’s exactly the opposite. Our perception of reality is reflexively distorted to appear much m...
I have thus far laid out that utilizing love to change the way you view others might have many positive effects on you: less self-consciousness and anxiety, feelings of safety and security in your environment, and a more accurate view of reality. Why stop there though? Let’s keep adding on to the love train with a few more benefits. Almost all of o...
If I connect with a feeling of love and goodwill toward the people I interact with, that will change my behaviors, as we discussed above. A worldview centered around wanting the best for people will very often change your actions to align with that worldview. Ideas are the engines of behavior. Thought leads to action. So when I interact with people...
Is love the answer? I actually think it might be. This way of viewing the world so fundamentally changes our psyche in a positive way that it’s hard to not view it as a powerful guiding principle for how to act in the world. A few takeaways from these ideas: 1. Even a cursory practice of Metta meditation can be extremely valuable. Spend a moment br...
For Rousseau, love is goodness that works for and has its origin in a balanced nature of a person. Love originates in a good-natured person from a balanced combination of our instincts, heart, mind, and soul: what the heart feels, the mind confirms.
Apr 8, 2005 · In addition to this epistemic significance of love, LaFollette (1996, Chapter 5) offers several other reasons why it is good to love, reasons derived in part from the psychological literature on love: love increases our sense of well-being, it elevates our sense of self-worth, and it serves to develop our character.
Jul 6, 2021 · A pervasive appreciation of the feminine values of relatedness and love, which surely is the goldmine, will address the issues of a world full of problems.
- Linda And Charlie Bloom
Jun 5, 2012 · Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.
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Jul 12, 2020 · “Love is the answer to everything. It's the only reason to do anything. If you don't write stories you love, you'll never make it. If you don't write stories that other people love, you'll never make it.” ― Ray Bradbury
