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May 14, 2024 · From relatable jokes from famous folks to marriage comedy dialogue from your favorite rom-coms, these funny wedding and marriage quotes are ideal for an anniversary card, wedding toasts (think: cheeky best man and bridesmaid toasts), party decor or simply texting your partner after a long day.
- Jamie Cuccinelli
- “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” — Milton Berle.
- “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers.
- “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft.
- “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.
Jul 2, 2024 · These wise words and funny marriage quotes from some of the greatest wits of all time capture what it's like to tie the knot.
- “To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.” - Ogden Nash.
- “The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.” - Jackie Kennedy.
- “Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.” - Abraham Lincoln.
- “One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.” - Oscar Wilde.
- “One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here.
- "Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun." — Stephanie Ortiz.
- “Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
- “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner.
Jan 30, 2024 · Whether you're giving a father of the bride speech and want to include some silly marriage quotes to add to your advice and anecdotes, or you're a best man after the funniest marriage quotes out there, you're bound to find some you love right here.
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Dec 12, 2023 · Happy Wife, Happy Life! 85 Funny Quotes About Marriage That Will Have You and Your Spouse in Stitches. If you can’t laugh at the one you love, who can you laugh at? Michelle Parkerton....
