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    • “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” — Milton Berle.
    • “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers.
    • “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft.
    • “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.
    • Funny Wedding and Marriage Quotes from Movies, Books and Television
    • Funny Quotes About Marriage from Notable Figures
    • Funny Marriage Advice from Comedians, Actors and Authors

    From the silly 'lobster' reference in the hit TV Series, Friends, to the charming words by J.R.R. Tolkien in The Hobbit, here are some famous and funny lines on marriage spoken by some of our favorite characters. 1. "The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are: good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what h...

    The words spoken by famous people sometimes really stick, especially when it comes to funny statements about marriage and relationships. Whether it's Barack Obama talking about Michelle or a cheeky comment by Mae West, here are some amusing quotes about marriage that just might provide a fresh perspective. 1. "I'm married to a very unusual person, ...

    Tap into the wisdom of wordsmiths like poet Ogden Nash and comedian Mindy Kaling for funny marriage advice phrases about date night, relationship highs and lows and more humorous comments. 1. "Make sure you have date night even if it's once in a blue moon because most of the time you're just too tired and you'd actually prefer to sleep." —Chris Hem...

    • Jamie Cuccinelli
    • “One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here.
    • "Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun." — Stephanie Ortiz.
    • “Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
    • “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner.
    • There are two tests for a happy marriage: wealth and poverty.
    • A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
    • Health is the first wealth, the second one is the happy marriage.
    • The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.
  1. May 18, 2020 · 150 Funny Marriage Wishes, Messages and Quotes. Let’s get started……. 1. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” — Henny Youngman. 2. “The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.” — Cher. 3. “Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!” — Zeenat Essa. 4.

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  2. Jan 30, 2024 · Our edit of funny love quotes and hilarious marriage quotes provides you with a staggering 70 potential lines that are perfect for writing in a wedding card or delivering in person on the day.

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  4. Feb 22, 2021 · These wise words and funny marriage quotes from some of the greatest wits of all time capture what it's like to tie the knot.