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  1. May 14, 2024 · From relatable jokes from famous folks to marriage comedy dialogue from your favorite rom-coms, these funny wedding and marriage quotes are ideal for an anniversary card, wedding toasts (think: cheeky best man and bridesmaid toasts), party decor or simply texting your partner after a long day.

    • Jamie Cuccinelli
    • “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” — Milton Berle.
    • “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers.
    • “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft.
    • “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.
  2. May 18, 2020 · If you are looking for some hilarious marriage quotes to add fun element to your wedding, then this post is for you. Here we are sharing 150 funny marriage quotes for you that you can use in your wedding invites, wedding signage, and wedding social media updates.

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    • “Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.
    • “In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf.” — Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
    • “The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’”— Anonymous.
    • “I don’t want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad, and if either watches it without the other, they’re dead meat.”
  3. Jun 20, 2024 · We’re diving into a goldmine of hilariously spot-on observations about the sacred (and often crazy) institution of marriage. From rib-tickling jabs at husbands to witty musings on the complexities of love and money, we’ve got the best funny quotes about marriage right here.

  4. Jan 30, 2024 · Our edit of funny love quotes and hilarious marriage quotes provides you with a staggering 70 potential lines that are perfect for writing in a wedding card or delivering in person on the day.

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  6. Jun 23, 2023 · From movie characters to celebrities, writers, comedians, and politicians, we gathered 50 funny marriage quotes to inspire everything from wedding and anniversary card messages to your vows.