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May 29, 2024 · Woody Allen famously quipped, “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” There are many rational things to worry about when we contemplate our own death—perhaps...
- Why We Fear Death and How to Overcome It | Psychology Today
Death—what isn’t there to be afraid of? It’s the ultimate...
- Is It Possible to Ease the Fear of Death? 9 Tactics to Help
As author Mary Roach says, "I don't fear death so much as I...
- Why We Fear Death and How to Overcome It | Psychology Today
Sep 2, 2020 · Death—what isn’t there to be afraid of? It’s the ultimate end! But while some people dread death, others accept it as inevitable. So why do some people fear it more than others? It turns...
It isn't weird that you aren't afraid of death, I suppose at this point I'm not either. But I'd suggest you to explore what the potential that innate fear has when it comes to our consciousness and ephemeral human experience.
- Overview
- The Difference Between Active Suicidal Ideation & Passive Suicidal Ideation
- What Do I Do When I Feel Like I Want to Die?
- How to Help Someone Else
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Information presented in this article may be triggering to some people. If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.
For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.
988
If you've ever thought "I don't want to live like this, but I don't want to die"—you’re not alone. Major life stressors, childhood trauma, or untreated depression are all reasons that someone might feel this way.
This can be considered suicidal ideation, which means thinking about taking your own life. Nine percent of people experience suicidal ideation in their lifetimes, but only 14% of those make attempts. The rate of completed suicides is even lower—for every 31 attempts, there is only one completed attempt.
If you’ve decided you don’t want to live like this anymore, but you don’t want to die, it’s likely that you’re feeling passive suicidal ideation. This means that you’ve thought about not living anymore, but you don’t have any active plan to die by suicide.
However, passive suicidal ideation can quickly turn active (i.e., having a plan, means, and intent).
It’s important to remember that feeling suicidal is a state that can change rapidly.
— JANEL CUBBAGE, LCPC, LICENSED THERAPIST AND SUICIDOLOGIST
Therapy
If you are not already in some kind of mental health treatment, consider seeing a therapist who can help you work through these feelings and find out why it is that you feel like you can’t live like this. They can also help you identify coping tools you can use to keep yourself safe and reduce these feelings.
Get Help Now
We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs, including Brightside, which specifically offers help for people experiencing suicidal ideation. Find out which option is the best for you.
Safety Planning
"Safety planning is an evidenced-based way to help prevent hospitalization and attempts,” says Cubbage. In research with suicidal patients in the emergency room, safety planning was associated with the patients being half as likely to exhibit future suicidal behavior and twice as likely to attend mental health treatment. Some key things to include on a safety plan include a list of coping strategies that have worked for you and sources of support. Sources of support can be friends and family as well as mental health professionals—either your therapist or a local mental health agency that you can contact. Mental health professionals sometimes use a tool called the "Reasons for Living Inventory" to assess for suicidality, but you might also want to look at it on your own to begin to jog your memory of reasons you want to live. Or you can make a list on your own—and nothing is too small to include. If you want to live because you love your morning coffee, that counts! Just as hopelessness can lead to feeling like you don’t want to live—but you don’t necessarily want to die—feelings of hope mean that there is a glimmer of light out there. In a study, those who identified more reasons for living were better able to access those reasons, even in periods of depression.
Janel Cubbage
Your natural instinct may be to remind them of the reasons they have for living or to tell them to think about their friends and family and how their death would affect them. Push those instincts to the side and listen to them. Hear them. Let them tell you what’s contributing to their emotional pain. — Janel Cubbage Of course, if someone is in imminent danger, contact emergency services or bring them to the nearest emergency department.
What This Means For You
We acknowledge how brave it is for you to realize that you don’t want to live like this anymore—and that you don’t want to die. A safety plan and a support network can help you through this crisis. How to Admit Yourself to a Psychiatric Hospital By Theodora Blanchfield, AMFT Theodora Blanchfield is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and mental health writer using her experiences to help others. She holds a master's degree in clinical psychology from Antioch University and is a board member of Still I Run, a non-profit for runners raising mental health awareness. Theodora has been published on sites including Women's Health, Bustle, Healthline, and more and quoted in sites including the New York Times, Shape, and Marie Claire.
- Use the fear of death as motivation to lengthen your life by practicing healthy habits. Exercise. Healthy eating. Enough sleep. Good relationships. Being in nature.
- Get older and become less fearful. When I was in my mid-50s, I had another talk with my parents about death. My father said, "Now that we are older, we are less afraid of dying."
- Open up to gratitude. I would like to believe that my father and mother had also enjoyed such a good life that they were ready to let it go, like guests who have feasted at the Thanksgiving table, realize they are satisfied, and need no more.
- Create a legacy. By "legacy," I mean several things. First, there is the priceless legacy of preparing a will and other related documents. Yes, it's tedious.
2 days ago · 1. Write down the times when you think about death. The first thing to determine when dealing with a fear of death is how – and how much – your fear affects your life. We are not often immediately aware of the environmental triggers or causes of our fears and anxiety.
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Aug 8, 2021 · Restructure catastrophic thinking. Channel your fear of death creatively. Try some existential therapy. Extra Resources and Further Reading. 1. Understand the origins of your fear of death in the past.