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  1. I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.

    • Wife

      Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.192, Da...

    • Animals

      Discover Groucho Marx quotes about animals. Share with...

    • Reading Books

      Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.5, Da...

    • Water

      Discover Groucho Marx quotes about water. Share with...

  2. Discover Groucho Marx quotes about politics. Share with friends. Create amazing picture quotes from Groucho Marx quotations.

    • Groucho Marx, Stefan Kanfer
    • 2000
    • “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx.
    • “I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”
    • “Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!” ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings By, For, and about Groucho Marx.
    • “Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening.
    • “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx.
    • “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” ― Groucho Marx.
    • “When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.” ― Groucho Marx.
    • “From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.” ― Groucho Marx.
  3. Jul 14, 2023 · Call them jokes or thought-provoking sayings, but we have compiled the best quotes from Groucho Marx. If there is a quote from him that you liked, upvote it. On the other hand, if you have something to share about this brilliant comedian, do so in the comments below.

  4. “I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.” ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

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  6. Groucho Marx. I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." Groucho Marx. 100% Sourced Quotes. Our motto is: Don't quote it if you can't source it.

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