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    • Famous Groucho Marx Quotes - Genius
      • "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." "I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home." "I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member." "No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early."
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  2. Discover Groucho Marx famous and rare quotes. Share funny quotes by Groucho Marx and quotations about books and wife. "Politics is the art of looking for trouble..."

    • Wife

      Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.192, Da...

    • Animals

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    • Reading Books

      Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.5, Da...

    • Water

      Discover Groucho Marx quotes about water. Share with...

  3. Jul 14, 2023 · Living from 1890 till 1977, Groucho Marx came into this world, made us laugh, and left a legacy in the form of quotes and jokes. Some of these quotes by Groucho Marx can also act as life lessons. After all, comedy and life have much more in common than it seems.

  4. Discover Groucho Marx funny quotes. Share with friends. Create amazing picture quotes from Groucho Marx quotations.

  5. Groucho Marx. Life, Party, Inspiration. The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

    • Groucho Marx Quotes on Women
    • On Reading
    • On Aging and Death
    • Put-Downs and Puns

    As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference. Behind every successful man is a woman; behind her is his wife....

    Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

    Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me? Bury me next to a straight man. Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

    All people are born alike—except Republicans and Democrats. Go, and never darken my towels again. One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know. I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. I sent the club a wire stating, 'Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club tha...

    • Simran Khurana
  6. Enjoy the best Groucho Marx Quotes at BrainyQuote. Quotations by Groucho Marx, American Comedian, Born October 2, 1890. Share with your friends.

  7. Dec 14, 2022 · Here are ten jokes and witticisms from the comic. 1. “Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.”. ― Groucho Marx, from his ...

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