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  1. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx. Inspirational, Happiness, Happy.

    • Age

      Groucho Marx (2009). “Groucho And Me”, p.28, Da Capo Press...

    • Wife

      Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.192, Da...

    • Animals

      Discover Groucho Marx quotes about animals. Share with...

  2. Groucho Marx. Life, Party, Inspiration. The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.

  3. Jul 14, 2023 · Hailed as one of the funniest comedians in American history, Groucho Marx quotes give a glimpse into the mind of this master. Living from 1890 till 1977, Groucho Marx came into this world, made us laugh, and left a legacy in the form of quotes and jokes.

    • “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx.
    • “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” ― Groucho Marx.
    • “When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.” ― Groucho Marx.
    • “From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.” ― Groucho Marx.
    • Quotes by Groucho Marx (1-10)
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    I intend to live forever or die trying.
    Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
    A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
    Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
    I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
    No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.
    I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
    Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
    Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
    The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that you’ve got it made.
    A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
    There’s one way to find out if a man is honest, ask him. If he says, yes, you know he’s a crook.

    Did you find these quotes by Groucho Marxas interesting and amusing as you’d hoped dear reader? You did? I hope so anyway. If that is the case then please share them with your friends because when you share everyone wins. So share them now on social media. If you can do that for me then it will be truly appreciated. Thank you.

  4. Enjoy the best Groucho Marx Quotes at BrainyQuote. Quotations by Groucho Marx, American Comedian, Born October 2, 1890. Share with your friends.

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  6. Famous Groucho Marx Quotes Lyrics. "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." "Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an...