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- “If you really wanted to die you wouldn’t tell anyone, you’d just do it.” “It makes me feel like I can’t ask for help when I’m suicidal because I’ll just get pushed aside because no one will believe me or will think I’m overreacting.”
- “Suicide doesn’t end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else.” “It makes me feel so guilty each time I read it, it makes my heart sink, hurt and feel less worthy of a person.
- “I thought you grew out of this?” “’You’re almost 18, it’s time to grow out of this now.’ I can’t just grow out of my mental illness. I’ve been struggling and suicidal since third grade, age has nothing to do with it.”
- “Your faith needs to be stronger.” “’Your faith needs to be stronger. You aren’t praying enough.’ It just adds to the feelings that I’m not doing enough, I’m not good enough… I’m not a strong ‘Christian.’”
About suicidal feelings. Supporting someone who feels suicidal. Explains how to support someone who feels suicidal, giving practical suggestions for what you can do and where you can go for support.
- Overview
- How to help when they’re having suicidal thoughts
- How to help when they have a high suicide risk
- Helpful resources
- The bottom line
One of your close friends has been struggling lately. When you messaged to see how they’re doing, they replied: “I can’t stand myself. I spend all day thinking about the mistakes I’ve made. The world would be better off without me. At least I wouldn’t feel so terrible anymore.”
No, they didn’t come right out and say, “I’m thinking about suicide.” Still, the underlying meaning of their words alarms you.
You care about your friend and want to offer reassurance, but you’ve never had thoughts of dying yourself, and you have no idea what to say.
First, know they might feel scared, too. Even people who have suicidal thoughts often fear those thoughts. People thinking of suicide don’t necessarily have a clear plan or specific timeline. They simply want a way to stop pain that seems unbearable and impossible to overcome.
Suicidal thoughts aren’t uncommon.
In 2018, more than 10 million Americans had serious thoughts of suicide.
These thoughts often arise in response to stressful or challenging life situations, including physical or mental health issues, trauma, abuse, loneliness, and isolation.
Not everyone who has thoughts of suicide will make an attempt, but suicide remains the second leading cause of death among Americans ages 10–34, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
It is a significant health crisis — and a preventable one.
The steps below can help you support your friend through a moment of crisis.
Someone with an immediate suicide risk may need more help than you can provide.
If your friend has a plan for suicide, access to what they’d need to carry it out, and a specific timeframe, you’ll want to support them by getting professional help right away.
If you believe your friend is at immediate risk of self-harm or suicide:
•Encourage them to reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text “HOME” to 741741.
•If needed, call 911 or your local emergency number. If possible, you may want to take them to an emergency room or encourage them to go.
•Stay with them or on the phone until help arrives. If in person, remove any weapons or substances from their surroundings that could cause harm.
Supporting a friend experiencing suicidal thoughts isn’t always easy. You can’t always provide the support they need, so it’s important to recognize when the crisis has passed the point where you can safely handle it alone.
There are several ways you can offer to help your friend:
•Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
•Connect with a Crisis Text Line counselor by texting HOME to 741741.
•Call the TrevorLifeline at 866-488-7386 or text START to 678678 for support dedicated to LGBTQIA teens and young adults.
•Not in the U.S.? Find them a helpline in their country with Befrienders Worldwide.
Thoughts of suicide, even if they seem vague, should always be taken seriously.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to helping a friend who’s thinking about suicide, but you can never go wrong by showing compassion and support.
May 16, 2024 · Practical advice to support someone. SAMH has more detailed information about helping someone with suicidal thoughts. They have specific information for: friends and family; people supporting an employee; people supporting a student; There is also information for how to cope when supporting someone else. It’s important that you also look ...
Sep 2, 2020 · If your friend is experiencing suicidal ideation, that means they’re hurting immensely — and they likely want to talk about it and feel heard. You can show your support by listening and giving them your empathy and compassion.
Explains what suicidal feelings are, and what you can do if you feel suicidal. Also covers the causes, treatments and support options for suicidal feelings. If you feel unable to keep yourself safe, it's a mental health emergency. Get emergency advice.
Sep 9, 2020 · Myth: Most suicides occur without warning. Truth: Warning signs precede the majority of suicides and so it is essential to know what they are and how to recognize them. Warning Signs
