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    • “I once spent a year in Philadelphia; I think it was on a Sunday.” C. Fields. Starting off is W.C. Fields, the legendary comedian, who delivered this wry observation, capturing the essence of his humor and wit.
    • “He who can does—he, who cannot, teaches.” George Bernard Shaw. In his quote, George Bernard Shaw discusses the apparent distinctions between people with theoreticalknowledgeand those with actual talents and experience.
    • “Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.” Jerry Seinfeld. Here, Jerry Seinfeld makes a droll observation about lipstick, cosmetics, and accepting oneself.
    • “Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.” George Bernard Shaw. With this clever paradoxical quote, Shaw expresses his view on the nature of dancing.
  1. 5 days ago · The proof is that it makes us tired.”. “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.”. “The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.”. “I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying.”. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape ...

  2. Apr 25, 2022 · 14. “You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend, but it surely helps!” —Unknown. 15. “Friends offer free therapy.” —Unknown. 16. “A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.” —Unknown. 17. “Never let your friends be lonely, disturb them all the time.” —Unknown. 18.

  3. It's Christmas morning and Little Johny got the brand new, 10 speed bike that he's wanted for months. After the usual present unwrapping merriment, Little Johny runs outside with his bike and starts riding it around. As he rides, Little Johny passes a cop on horseback. The cop follows Little John... read more

    • With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come. William Shakespeare. Birthday, Happiness, Being Happy.
    • Frame your mind to mirth and merriment which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life. William Shakespeare. Wine, Mind, Bars.
    • With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come. And let my liver rather heat with wine, than my heart cool with mortifying groans. William Shakespeare. Laughter, Heart, Wine.
    • Merrily, merrily shall I live now, Under the blossom that hangs on the bough. William Shakespeare. Memorable.
  4. A lighthearted look at retirement: This collection of witty quotes celebrates the joys and quirks of this exciting new chapter. With chuckles and relatable observations, they will inspire, amuse, and perhaps even make your retiree friend laugh out loud.

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  6. Jul 19, 2024 · Need a good laugh? Check out 300 funny quotes to make you laugh out loud and improve your day with a few chuckles along the way.

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