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Dec 14, 2023 · Here are seven pregnancy tests you can make at home with instructions for taking them and interpreting the results. Remember, none of these tests have been proven scientifically. The only reliable ways to confirm pregnancy are through store-bought pregnancy tests or a visit to your doctor.
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Find out all about the routine tests and checks that are available to you in pregnancy to keep an eye on your health and your babies.
- Overview
- What is maternal instinct?
- Is maternal instinct a myth?
- What is the difference between an instinct and drive?
- How to manage expectations
- Takeaway
Parents-to-be, experienced parents, and those thinking about having children are bombarded with the idea that maternal instinct is something all women possess.
It’s expected that women have some sort of instinctive desire to have children and somehow also know how to take care of them, regardless of needs, wants, or experience.
And while wanting to have children and take care of them is great, the idea that just because you’re a woman you should want kids (or that you should “instinctively” know what to do once they are born) is unrealistic and adds a whole lot of unnecessary anxiety and stress.
So, what is maternal instinct, and why has its concept lasted for so long?
“The word instinct refers to something innate — inborn or natural — involving a fixed behavioral response in the context of certain stimuli,” says Dr. Catherine Monk, a psychologist and professor of medical psychology in the departments of psychiatry and obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University Medical Center.
Based on that definition, Monk says the idea of maternal instinct implies that there is an innate knowledge and set of caregiving behaviors that are an automatic part of becoming and being a mother.
But in reality, “the idea of a maternal instinct can be quite exaggerated,” says Monk.
History would have us believe that maternal instinct is what motivates us to want to have children and then know exactly what to do once they arrive. However, Monk suggests that a mother — or anyone parenting a newborn or child — learns on the job, through instruction, good role models, and observing what works and doesn’t with each child.
This “learning on the job” happens from the time a baby is born. This is a time when many assume maternal instinct should kick in and result in instant feelings of motherly love.
But instead, according to one 2018 study, these feelings of affection develop several days after birth, with some women struggling to feel them even several months later.
Yes, the idea of maternal instinct is largely a myth, says Monk.
The exception, she says, is that a person, no matter their gender or sexual orientation, can gain early on and maintain throughout development, a keen sense of their child. But this ability is still different from maternal instinct.
For example, a parent may quickly suss out the specific meaning behind the cries of their newborn. They might also easily pick up on the behavior change that signals a head cold in their toddler. This stretches into the older years, when a parent can sense trouble brewing in a teenager’s room when it is too quiet.
“This ‘maternal instinct’ of a sixth sense for one’s child and what they need comes from intense closeness and deep love, spending hours with and thinking about the child,” says Monk. It involves seeing the signs because of a connection you’ve built with your child, not an instinctive understanding of motherhood. And it isn’t limited to mothers.
Psychotherapist, Dana Dorfman, PhD, agrees that many aspects of maternal instinct are a myth. “A mother’s intuition or innate sense about the baby’s needs may be attributable to their experiences, temperament, and attachment style,” says Dorfman.
Many aspects of caring for a child are learned through observation or “on the job” experiences. “Nursing, changing diapers, and feeding are not necessarily biologically inborn abilities,” Dorfman points out.
To see where the term maternal instinct comes from, we first have to understand the difference between instinct and drive, because they are definitely not the same thing.
“In psychology, a physiological drive is a motivational state resulting from a physiological need, and a need is a deprivation that underlies the drive,” says Gabriela Martorell, PhD, a psychology professor from Virginia Wesleyan College.
An instinct, on the other hand, says Martorell is an innate, or unlearned response to a signal. Instincts are found in all members of a species and are the product of evolutionary pressures shaping behavior over time. In other words, drives are motivations; instincts are behaviors.
For the most part, Martorell says humans don’t have instincts in the same way most animals do. That’s because most instincts are rigid, unchanging, and provoked by a simple stimulus, and humans are flexible and adaptable.
“We might get hungry, but rather than having one set behavior like an animal does — such as pecking at a dot — we might hit up the fridge, or walk to a nearby coffee shop, or go to the grocery store,” she says. Most of our behaviors, while strongly influenced by evolution, are learned and changeable.
With respect to mothering, Martorell says the processes that shape our behaviors in this area are old and deep, but it would be a stretch to call most of them instinctual.
The idea that women should want children and instinctively know how to care for them creates a lot of pressure, both societal and self-imposed. It also discounts a father or other parental figure’s ability to bond with their baby. Both fathers and mothers are equally capable of parenting behaviors.
These kinds of set expectations put pressure on people, which Monk says can contribute to postpartum depression. For example, some women (and men) find the newborn period less rewarding than they had imagined and can feel ashamed about this feeling. These emotions can contribute to self-blame and depression.
What we think of as maternal instinct is a myth, and perpetuating the idea that it is real is making parenting, and the choice to become one, even harder.
So let go of those unrealistic expectations. (There’s not room in the diaper bag anyway!) Parenting is a challenge you learn as you go.
Increased access and availability of pregnancy self-tests for home use can help confirm a pregnancy and engage with the health system for improved reproductive, maternal and newborn health outcomes. Pregnancy self-tests are also an important self-care intervention that increase agency and autonomy in sexual and reproductive decision-making.
Mom Genes reveals the hard science behind our tenderest maternal impulses, tackling questions such as whether a new mom’s brain ever really bounces back, why mothers are destined to mimic their...
Nov 15, 2021 · Kathryn M. Abel, MA, MBBS, MRCPsych, MRCP, and PhD, Director of the Centre for Women’s Mental Health at the University of Manchester, tells Flo about the difference between maternal sensitivity, maternal instinct, and the attachment bond and goes over some ways to create a healthy care envi...
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Jun 20, 2024 · Home pregnancy tests use antibodies to detect the presence of the hormone human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG) in your urine. The most sensitive home pregnancy tests, such as Clearblue Early Detection, can detect hCG as early as 6 days before your missed period 1.
