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Feb 13, 2024 · Can love, or the absence of love, generate a form of sickness? Can it even lead to lasting physical or mental illness? And is it possible to die of a broken heart?
- Overview
- What does ‘lovesick’ actually mean?
- Where did this idea originate?
- How does it feel?
- Can you actually become ill?
- Are there other signs to look for?
- Is this the same thing as being lovestruck?
- What about ‘the honeymoon phase’ in a relationship?
- What’s the point of all this?
- How can I ‘cure’ my lovesickness?
Love can feel pretty wonderful — when all goes well, that is.
If your romance follows a rockier path, you might notice your inner compass needle swinging more toward abject misery than euphoric joy.
Maybe you haven’t yet found the courage to confess your love, or you have summoned the strength to share your feelings, only to face rejection.
Perhaps you’ve fallen for a person you know you can’t be with, like your boss or a friend’s partner, or someone you just know will never return your feelings.
An unexpected and unwanted breakup can also give rise to emotional turmoil and physical distress.
Any of these situations can leave you feeling somewhat unwell in mind and body. For example:
People use the term lovesick in different ways.
You might hear it used to describe the range of feelings that accompany the early stages of being in love, such as:
•excitement
•lust
•euphoria
•jealousy
Lovesickness is nothing new. This malady dates back to some of the earliest writings, in fact, though it sometimes went by different names.
You’ll find descriptions of the condition in ancient medical texts and classical literature, from Greek philosophy to Shakespeare to Jane Austen.
Research traces the concept of lovesickness to Hippocrates, who believed that lovesickness, like other illnesses, resulted from an excess or imbalance of certain bodily humors.
Galen, another notable ancient physician, was one of the first to diagnose lovesickness and other conditions where physical symptoms resulted from emotional causes.
From culture to culture and era to era, the general symptoms of lovesickness remain much the same.
If you’re lovesick, you’ll probably notice some of the following signs:
•insomnia
•loss of appetite
•restlessness
•flushed or feverish skin
Languishing over lost love can leave you feeling pretty rotten, to the point where you might begin to wonder whether you’re coming down with some type of flu.
Running a fever, which can sometimes happen with lovesickness, might only reinforce your concerns.
Love can’t give you the flu. But the hormone fluctuations associated with love and heartbreak — particularly the stress hormone cortisol — can prompt physical symptoms that affect your long-term health.
Lovesickness can also make you sick indirectly. A lack of sleep, good nutrition, or adequate hydration can absolutely worsen your health.
What’s more, changes in mood, such as irritability or a general sense of melancholy, can begin to affect your relationships with others or your performance at work and school.
Difficulties in these areas of life can eventually increase stress and affect your health, especially if your thoughts of love get in the way of regular self-care.
Serious cases of lovesickness can get intense. You might have trouble talking about anything besides the person you love and the relationship you want to develop.
Lovesickness can make it hard to concentrate and distract you from your responsibilities. You might forget important appointments, chores, errands, or plans with friends.
It’s also common to feel anxious about the outcome of your love.
Lovesickness can also involve difficulty getting over someone after they reject you.
Whether that’s an ex-partner who ended your relationship or someone you fell for who didn’t return your love, trouble moving on from the heartbreak could prompt feelings of melancholy or depression. Some people even have thoughts of suicide.
For those in the throes of limerence, persistent intrusive thoughts can fuel anxiety and rumination.
Lovestruck and lovesick aren’t entirely unrelated concepts, but they do refer to separate states.
Falling in love prompts your brain to ramp up production of certain hormones, including dopamine, oxytocin, and norepinephrine.
So you’ll probably experience some level of surging emotions and temporary changes in mood and behavior as a natural consequence of falling head over heels.
When this happens, people might say you’re lovestruck or struck by Cupid’s arrow. (Cher and Nicolas Cage offer another name for this state of mind: “Moonstruck.”)
Lovesickness, on the other hand, tends to follow heartbreak, rejection, or unrequited love, so it carries more of a negative connotation. It might also involve mental health symptoms, including anxiety and depression.
Not everyone who falls in love will experience lovesickness, even after rejection, but some degree of lovestruck-ness is pretty universal — everyone has hormones, after all.
The early stages of a relationship usually involve some degree of infatuation. For example:
•You think about your partner nonstop and feel euphoric when you’re together.
•They seem like the most amazing person in the world — you even find their quirks endearing.
•When you have to take a break from each other to attend to the responsibilities of daily life, you think about them so intently you have very little brain space left for what you’re supposed to be doing.
•You might notice some forgetfulness, increased energy, and less of a need for sleep or food.
•Friends and loved ones might say you seem distracted or beg you to stop talking about them for “just 10 minutes, please.”
If you think lovesickness sounds pretty awful, you might wonder whether pursuing love is really worth it.
Finding real, sustainable love can take time and effort, but romance isn’t all rejection and misery.
Each time you develop a crush or more intense liking for someone and follow up on those feelings by confessing your love, you’re making an attempt to find the romantic connection you desire.
You may not find this love without running the risk of potential rejection. For many people, the eventual outcome of lasting love is worth the risk of potential rejection or lovesickness.
Even if your crush doesn’t pan out, it may not necessarily feel bad. People who love the butterflies, energy boost, and euphoria that accompany their crushes might feel pretty fantastic in the thick of a crush.
Crushes can also teach you more about what you want (and don’t want) in a romantic partner. They can also lead to new friends.
In spite of lovesickness’ lengthy history, experts have yet to discover any real cure. Absent a vaccine or other quick fix, you’re left in the healing hands of time itself.
Lovesickness generally does ease eventually, much like the common cold. Here’s what you can do in the meantime to get some relief.
Oct 10, 2024 · Lovesickness is not considered to be a mental illness or mental health disorder; however, lovesick symptoms can have biological impacts that can affect a person’s day-to-day life, such as obsessive thoughts, loss of appetite, headache, stomachache, and mental health conditions.
Oct 18, 2021 · Summary. If you’ve ever had your heart broken, been ghosted, or longed for love, you might’ve experienced lovesickness. Here are the signs and how to heal. Have you ever missed someone so...
Mar 9, 2016 · In 1610, a decade before Robert Burton’s influential Anatomy of Melancholy, Ferrand published the verbosely titled study Of Lovesickness or Erotic Melancholy: A Scientific Discourse that teaches how to know the essence, causes, signs, and remedies of this disease of the fantasy, later shorthanded to A Treatise on Lovesickness (public library).
Written by Julian Selemin. What Is Lovesickness? Lovesick Symptoms. Lovesickness Psychology and Neurology. Can Lovesickness Be Dangerous? 4 min read. People often describe lovesickness as...
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Aug 24, 2011 · Truly, madly, deeply: How love makes you sick. Rae Padilla Francoeur, 63, of Rockport, Maine, has been in plenty of passionate relationships before but when she met her current mate, she fell...