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May 14, 2024 · I mean, I know that sounds like a bad thing, but it's not." — Everybody Loves Raymond. "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny, version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever." – Knocked Up. "A wedding marks the first day of the rest of your life. You have been dead until now.
- Jamie Cuccinelli
- “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Emma Bombeck.
- “My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.”
- “Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” Anonymous.
- “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Rita Rudner.
- “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” — Milton Berle.
- “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers.
- “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft.
- “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.
Jan 8, 2022 · SEE MORE: Wedding Quotes: 101 of the Best Quotes for the Wedding Day. Funny Quotes about Wives. Wives are often seen as the one putting up with all the husbands nonsense in marriage. But these funny wife quotes shine a light in the hilarious escapees the fairer sex get up to in marriage. Marriage is give and take.
- “One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here.
- "Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun." — Stephanie Ortiz.
- “Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
- “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner.
Aug 13, 2023 · Here’s wishing you both a very happy married life.”. 74. Do not expect that your husband will change after marriage. You will have to guide him through the process. Happy wedding!”. 75. “Congratulations! Now you're one – one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!”.
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A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.” -Fawn Weaver. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” -Henny Youngman. “A good marriage is like a casserole; only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” -Anonymous. No matter what kind of humorous quote you choose ...
