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  1. May 14, 2024 · I mean, I know that sounds like a bad thing, but it's not." — Everybody Loves Raymond. "Marriage is like a tense, unfunny, version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn't last 22 minutes. It lasts forever." – Knocked Up. "A wedding marks the first day of the rest of your life. You have been dead until now.

    • Jamie Cuccinelli
    • “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” Emma Bombeck.
    • “My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.”
    • “Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” Anonymous.
    • “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Rita Rudner.
    • “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” — Milton Berle.
    • “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers.
    • “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft.
    • “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell.
    • “One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here.
    • "Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up. We both vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is fun." — Stephanie Ortiz.
    • “Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
    • “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner.
  2. Apr 16, 2023 · Expensive Advice Expeditions. “A Psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.”. Communication and Motherly Needs. “A man will marry a woman because he needs a mother he can communicate with.”. – Martin Mull. Sensory Compromise in Marriage.

  3. Aug 13, 2023 · Here’s wishing you both a very happy married life.”. 74. Do not expect that your husband will change after marriage. You will have to guide him through the process. Happy wedding!”. 75. “Congratulations! Now you're one – one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!”.

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  5. Aug 9, 2023 · 10 funny wedding quotes. “To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.”. – Ogden Nash. “Marriage is like vitamins: We supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.”. – Kathy Mohnke.

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