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May 23, 2023 · That’s the struggle, really. Your new movie is a clear example of authentic storytelling based on your viral bit “The Machine,” loosely based a true story about robbing a train in Russia...
- nate.jackson@latimes.com
- Deputy Entertainment And Arts Editor
- Bert Kreischer Took Russian at FSU
- Bert Kreischer Arrived in 1990s Russia
- Bert Kreischer Hung Out with Igor & Sasha
- How Bert Kreischer Got The Nickname "The Machine"
- The Machine Took A Trip to Moscow
- The Machine Robbed The Train
- The Machine & The Police
In college, Burt Kreischer took Russian for two years — largely because of a deal he made with the professor, who would pass him as long as he just showed up to class. Consequently, and crucially, he only learned a few phrases. The last thing Kreischer needed to do in order to earn his minor was to spend a semester abroad in Russia, an assignment h...
As Kreischer explains in "The Machine," criminal families in Russia held a lot of power in the 1990s. As a result, Kreischer’s class was assigned two members of the Russian mafia for protection during the course of their travels: Igor and Sasha. Kreischer’s teacher explained that the men would be shadowing the group everywhere they went and told hi...
Despite being told not to talk to Igor and Sasha, Kreischer brought them vodka and beer on the first night of the trip. Because he had never actually studied the Russian language, he memorized a greeting that included a line about how much he loved to party. When the door opened, he found himself looking into a room full of gangsters.
The fish-out-of-water moment was too much for him, and he immediately forgot his prepared line. Instead, he uttered, “Ya machine!" which translates to I’m the machine!" After a beat, the Russian gangsters raised their glasses and cheered, “He’s the machine!" From that moment, Kreischer was best friends with Igor and Sasha, and they only referred to...
Kreischer joined his classmates on a trip to Moscow, but not only was that city run by a different family, but the mafia that controlled the train was yet another. Before they left, Igor and Sasha introduced Kreischer to the class's new mafia chaperones, who immediately took to "The Machine." They invited Kreischer into first class, while the rest ...
When their supply of alcohol was gone, the party went to the train’s bar cart to get more vodka, as well as bread, cheese, and, to Kreischer’s surprise, rubles. He had essentially been tricked into robbing the bar cart. Once it got dark, Kreischer joined his new friends as they stole from passengers' luggage — including his classmates' suitcases. T...
Before Kreischer could stand up to go outside, the gangsters stopped him and said they would take care of it. Kreischer watched his friends go outside and yell at the police in front of his entire class. Eventually, they waved Kreischer outside to talk to the police himself. One of the officers grabbed him, looked him in the eyes, and asked, “Are y...
- Zachary Moser
- Staff Writer
May 26, 2023 · “The Machine” was a story Kreischer would tell at parties, backstage, or in meetings for years, but he’d never do it onstage. That was until 2011, when he told it on The Joe Rogan Experience ...
- Jesse David Fox
- Contributor
May 25, 2023 · While the story has been narrated countless times by Kreischer on radio, television, podcasts, and live on-stage with varying degrees of embellishments and exaggerations, the crux of it remains the same throughout, as well as the fact that it is a true story.
Sep 29, 2023 · The Machineis based on a true story that comedian Bert Kreischer told during one of his stand-up routines in 2016, and Mark Hamill plays Bert's father, Albert, in the 2023 film, while Kreischer portrays a fictional version of himself.
- Senior Staff Writer
May 26, 2023 · ‘The Machine’ is based, as well as loosely inspired by the events that took place, and hopefully, the movie will find that perfect middle ground between reality and fiction.
Jun 4, 2023 · Famed stand-up Bert Kreischer takes his routine about his Russian mafia nightmare to the screen with ‘The Machine’ — and gets a shot at movie stardom.
