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Feb 27, 2023 · Being socially awkward is an interesting thing because it rarely shows up the same way. Social awkwardness is a common trait that can affect anyone, regardless of age, background, or even personality type. It often shows up in different ways and to varying degrees.
May 17, 2017 · Ty Tashiro, a psychologist and the author of Awkward: The Science of Why We're Socially Awkward and Why That's Awesome, says socially awkward people feel out of sync with those around them....
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Sep 22, 2024 · Socially awkward behavior is more common than you might think, affecting people from all walks of life. It’s like a pesky mosquito that buzzes around, making us uncomfortable and self-conscious in social situations.
- Overview
- How do I know if I’m socially awkward?
- Is it bad?
- Does it serve any purpose?
- How can I feel more comfortable in social settings?
- When to seek help
- The bottom line
Social norms and cues, such as knowing when to say hello or giving people personal space, help you navigate social situations. You might have been directly taught some of these norms. Others, you might’ve picked up on by watching others.
When you witness someone fumbling one of these norms, you might cringe internally and feel embarrassed for the other person. Likewise, you probably feel your stomach turn over when you botch an introduction to someone new or slip up on your words.
But social awkwardness doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, it might even benefit you in some ways. But that doesn’t make it any less distressing in the moment.
Here’s a look at signs of social awkwardness, tips for overcoming it, and reasons why it might not be such a negative thing.
Social awkwardness isn’t a mental health issue — there’s no diagnostic criteria or even a concrete definition. It’s more of a feeling, or a collection of feelings and experiences that form a pattern in your life.
These feelings and experiences often result from:
•failure to notice certain social cues
•misunderstanding or not noticing others’ body language
Heidi McKenzie, PsyD, explains that socially awkward people might have a hard time navigating conversations or working their way into a group. As a result, they might seem a bit “off” to others.
It can be hard to recognize social awkwardness in yourself because you might not even be aware of some of the social cues you aren’t picking up on. Instead, you might just notice that you don’t seem to fit in with your peers
Social awkwardness, in itself, isn’t a bad thing.
But it can become problematic if it leads to distress due to:
•people making unkind remarks
•spending a lot of time wondering if you’ve done something wrong
•frequently having trouble in social situations
•wanting to make friends but struggling to connect with others
Internal warning system
If you find yourself in an awkward situation, you might think something along the lines of, “This isn’t what I thought would happen.” You might feel a little uneasy or uncomfortable and have the urge to get away as soon as possible. But a small 2012 study suggests these very feelings can help by acting as a warning system of sorts. They help you realize when you’ve approached (or crossed) a social boundary. As a result, you might experience physical symptoms of anxiety, panic, or fear, including: •muscle tension •flushed face •pounding heart •nausea •hyperventilation This probably doesn’t sound beneficial at all. But this discomfort can motivate you to: •take action in the moment •take care to avoid missing similar social cues in the future
Deep conversation skills
Having a hard time with small talk and routine social interactions doesn’t mean you aren’t a good conversation partner. Mackenzie notes that people who deal with social awkwardness “may struggle with small talk, but they’re often great at diving deep into topics they’re passionate about.”
Unique perspectives
Psychologist Ty Tashiro notes in his book Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome that socially awkward people tend to view the world around them in different ways. They may be less likely to notice social cues or pick up on emotions but feel more driven toward systematic or scientific approaches. This unique perspective may stem from differences in the brain — differences that sometimes relate to high intelligence and achievement, according to Tashiro. “Awkward people’s minds tend to make them natural scientists because they are good at seeing details, picking up on patterns in these details, and taking a systematic approach to problems,” he writes.
Social awkwardness can have its benefits, but you might notice some drawbacks, too. Perhaps you often feel misplaced or like you’re missing something. Or maybe you sometimes do or say things that create awkwardness at home, school, or work.
These tips can help you better navigate social situations and deal with the repercussions that come from inevitable slip-ups.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with social awkwardness. But it’s important to pay attention to how it makes you feel.
If you feel unhappy, distressed, or lonely in your daily life, you might want to consider talking to a therapist who can help you explore the reasons for these feelings. They can also help you develop new social skills and sharpen your self-identity.
A therapist can also help you identify underlying issues that might be playing a role, such as social anxiety. McKenzie explains that, while some people use the terms “social awkwardness” and “social anxiety” interchangeably, they’re two different things.
“People with social anxiety typically have average to above-average social skills,” she says. “You might feel like everyone at the cocktail party thinks you’re ‘weird,’ but odds are good that you’re coming off just fine to others.”
There’s nothing wrong with being socially awkward. Whether you recognize your social awkwardness or not, it generally isn’t bad or harmful, unless it bothers you or keeps you from doing things you want to do.
But if you feel like you’re doing just fine, don’t feel pressured to change. Remember, everyone experiences a bit of awkwardness from time to time.
- Crystal Raypole
We overlook minor social expectations. And we then struggle to navigate routine social situations. But this unique perspective also reveals a surprising upside to being awkward. It may not be...
Sep 6, 2024 · Most of us experience social awkwardness sometimes — but when does awkwardness become social anxiety? We look at the signs and offer coping tips.
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Jan 26, 2023 · Potential signs of social awkwardness include physical symptoms, like hyperventilation and a fast heart beat, as well as more internal indicators, like loneliness and social anxiety. Here are eleven signs that you’re socially awkward: Having social anxiety. Finding social situations difficult to navigate.
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