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What should I do if I get rejected?
What happens if you don't handle rejection?
How do you come to terms with rejection?
- Do not expect everyone to like you. This is an impossible expectation. You don't like everyone, do you? We can't all feel connected to each other at all times.
- Perhaps the rejection is a blessing in disguise. The relationship may have stopped serving you or it may be time to change the nature of the relationship.
- If a friend, colleague, or partner seems to be dropping you maybe they have noticed that the synergy between the two of you is just not working at this point.
- Sometimes we make each other angry. In that case, we may be rejected. A cooling down period of several days or weeks may be necessary. In this case, substitute the phrase "cooling down" for rejection.
Jan 30, 2024 · How to Manage Rejection. 1. Practice Acceptance. Instead of ruminating over why it happened, how it happened or how it shouldn’t have happened, which helps your mind avoid the pain, sit with...
- Overview
- Dealing With the Immediate Aftermath
- Dealing With Rejection Long-Term
- Why does rejection hurt?
- Can rejection be a good thing?
- Rejecting Someone Else
The run-down on rejection plus friendly tips to help lift you up after disappointment
Can rejection be a good thing?
Any kind of rejection, whether it’s related to love, your career, friends, or even a book proposal, isn’t the greatest feeling. While rejection is a fact of life and you’ll eventually be turned down by someone
, we’ll teach you how to bounce back. Here, we’ll walk you through the emotional impact of rejection as well as ways to handle it with a healthy attitude. So, review our guide to weathering rejection like a pro and you’ll shine no matter what!
Practice "positive reframing,"a way to be optimistic about rejection. For example, if someone turns down your idea to go on a date, you can look for a better match.
If you need to reject someone, be kind but direct and try to provide feedback. For instance, let them know that they need to add more key skills to their resume.
Give yourself time to grieve.
It’s totally normal to feel upset after a rejection, especially if you had your hopes up. Accept that an outcome was important to you, whether it was the idea of publishing a book, landing a job, or scoring an SO. Give yourself some time to process the disappointment—acknowledging your emotions is an important way to cope with sadness. [1]
, you’ll discover what matters to you. For example, say, “It makes sense that I’m bummed the book deal fell through. Creativity and storytelling means a lot to me.”
, too. Even though you might not feel like your best self, part of grieving can involve vegging out and watching your favorite show.
Share your feelings with someone you trust.
Right now, you might feel too tender, so it’s probably best to avoid broadcasting your rejection on social media or to people you aren’t close to. Instead, reach out to the people closest to you, like friends or family. Help your support system support you by telling them what you need—you might want to vent, or you might want to think about solutions. [2]
Remember that rejection is not about you as a person. Turn your focus away from any self-criticism and concentrate on a situation that someone turned down. When you remove the spotlight from yourself, you “re-frame” the rejection. With this clever trick, you reclaim your value and refuse to take the blame for someone else’s preferences.
One of the best ones to use is "it didn't work out" because it removes the blame from them and from you.
For example, if you ask someone out and they say no, re-frame the thought, “They rejected me,” by pointing out to yourself, “They rejected the idea of going on a date.”
If you aren’t hearing back from a friend, you can always re-frame by telling yourself, “We just grew apart. It happens!”
If you didn’t get that job you had your eye on, just re-frame and shake it off with a comment like, “We had different priorities—onto greener pastures!”
Keep your eyes on the next prize—a new opportunity.
Our brains are wired to compare rejection to actual pain.
Rejection activates the same areas in our brain that physical pain does. Because of this phenomenon, even a tiny rejection—like not getting an invitation to a party—can sting. Evolutionary psychologists suggest that we evolved to react dramatically to rejection so we’d fight for a sense of belonging in society.
Rejection can also affect your self-esteem, impact your mood, and cause you to believe you don’t “fit in” with others.
It’s natural if you criticize yourself after being rejected, but this habit worsens your self-image.
Even though your brain might initially react negatively to rejection, if you train yourself to
build a positive thinking mindset
Rejection helps you embrace self-acceptance and support networks.
If someone turns you down—whether it’s a romantic interest, friend, or interviewer—use their “no” as an opportunity to find a “yes” somewhere else. Prioritize anyone who gives you positive feedback. Ultimately, rejection invites you to seek out places where you’re valued and cherished.
Find people who love you unconditionally
so that you never doubt where you stand with them.
to connect with folks who embrace what you find important, from volunteering to video games.
until you’ve found the perfect match in a company that celebrates the skills you have to offer.
Remember you are allowed to say "no."
This can be a hard one for a lot of people, especially if you just want to be nice, but you’re never under any obligation to say "yes" to something you don't want to do. When you
, you’ll create a stress-free situation for yourself.
If someone asks you on a date and you don't want to go with them, you can tell them in a straightforward manner that you’re not available. Say something like, “I really appreciate you, but I’m not romantically interested in you.”
If your friend really wants to go on a trip and you’re not up for it or can’t afford it, let them know ASAP with a remark like, “Hey, it’s just not in my budget and I’m feeling like a staycation. I hope you have fun though! Take lots of pictures!”
One of the best ways to
Mar 31, 2023 · Sometimes, rejection is harsh, and the rejecter might be rude or cruel in their rebuff. Other times, they may let us down gently, and we still experience a strong emotional reaction to the rejection. Learn about types of rejection and how to cope with rejection in a healthy way.
Apr 11, 2024 · Learn why rejection from a job, friend, or romantic interest hurts so much and the 5 stages of rejection. Plus, how to handle rejection gracefully and move on.
Jun 14, 2021 · Key points. Rejection contributes to feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness. Fear of rejection leads to avoiding intimacy and anticipating more rejection. Cope with rejection by grieving,...
Dealing with rejection. Rejection hurts, but it's a normal part of life. It's important to learn from it, build resilience, and keep trying. Blaming yourself or others won't help. Don't let fear of rejection stop you from putting yourself out there.
