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1. www.cracked.com › article_36196_67-of-the-best67 of the Best Steven Wright Jokes on His 67th Birthday

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   • “I’m going to court next week. I’ve been selected for jury duty. It’s kind of an insane case. 6,000 ants dressed up as rice and robbed a Chinese restaurant …I don’t think they did it.
   • “I tried to hang myself with bungee cord… Kept almost dying.” Advertisement.
   • “I was walking down the street, there was a sign stapled to a telephone pole that said: Reward, lost $50. If found, just keep it”
   • “So I was laying in bed with my girlfriend reading the second hand diary that I bought… ‘I don't remember this.’ She said, “Let me ask you a question: If you could know how and when you were gonna die would you want to know?’

2. Videos

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     Classic Steven Wright Has Everyone Rolling | Carson Tonight Show

     6 Jun 2023

     1.6M views

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     Comedian Steven Wright | Funniest Collection

     5 Jan 2020

     249.6K views

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     Comedian Steven Wright Reveals Which of His Jokes Is His All-Time Favorite | The Rich Eisen Show

     12 Apr 2023

     572.3K views

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3. en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Steven_WrightSteven Wright - Wikipedia

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   Learn about Steven Wright, a stand-up comedian known for his deadpan and ironic humor, his Oscar-winning short film, and his roles in Reservoir Dogs and Horace and Pete. Find out his biography, career, awards, and jokes.

4. www.youtube.com › watchComedian Steven Wright | Funniest Collection - YouTube

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   One of the most original, brilliant comedians ever!Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film ...

   • Video Duration: 10 min
   • Views: 249.6K

   • Author: Gilbert Gottfried Comedy

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6. thoughtcatalog.com › 2020 › 09100+ Hilarious Steven Wright Quotes and Jokes - Thought Catalog

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   Jan 22, 2021 · Enjoy over 100 hilarious and ironic one-liners by American comedian Steven Wright. Learn about his life, career, and awards as a stand-up comedian and actor.

   • Author: January Nelson

7. www.mentalfloss.com › article › 6046120 of Steven Wright's Funniest Jokes - Mental Floss

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   Don't get too excited, but today is the deadpan comedian's 61st birthday. To celebrate, here are 20 of his funniest jokes. 1. "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." 2. "I almost...

8. People also ask

   What did Steven Wright say when he met a man with no feet?

   • He said, ‘I don’t know.’ I said, ‘I don’t want your job.’” – Steven Wright “I was sad because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ‘Got any shoes you’re not using?’” – Steven Wright “I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.

   100+ Hilarious Steven Wright Quotes and Jokes | Thought Catalog

   thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2020/09/steven-wright-quotes/

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   Who is Steven Wright?

   • Steven Wright has managed to accomplish not one, but three things most comedians could only dream of. The first is that his unique style of humor has transformed his name into an adjective to describe every absurdist one-liner comic that has come along ever since. The second is instant recognizability.

   67 of the Best Steven Wright Jokes on His 67th Birthday

   www.cracked.com/article_36196_67-of-the-best-steven-wright-jokes-on-his-67th-birthday.html

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   What did Steven Wright say about life?

   • “I intend to live forever – so far, so good.” – Steven Wright “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.” – Steven Wright “Half the people you know are below average.” – Steven Wright “Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.” – Steven Wright “Borrow money from pessimists-they don’t expect it back.”

   100+ Hilarious Steven Wright Quotes and Jokes | Thought Catalog

   thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2020/09/steven-wright-quotes/

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   Why did Steven Wright stop practicing?

   • “When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.” – Steven Wright “I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.” – Steven Wright “I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, ‘Steven, time to go to sleep.’ I said, ‘But I don’t know how.’

   100+ Hilarious Steven Wright Quotes and Jokes | Thought Catalog

   thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2020/09/steven-wright-quotes/

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9. www.youtube.com › watchComedian Steven Wright Reveals Which of His Jokes Is His All ...

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   Apr 12, 2023 · Comedian Steven Wright joins Rich Eisen in-studio where he reveals which of his thousands of classic jokes is his all-time favorite and how he developed his ...

   • Video Duration: 7 min
   • Views: 572.3K

   • Author: The Rich Eisen Show

10. www.youtube.com › watch“I’m Like A Receptionist For My Mind” - Steven Wright, After ...

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    Legendary comedian Steven Wright makes his first appearance on The Late Show, much to the delight of superfan Stephen Colbert. Watch as they talk about every...

    • Video Duration: 9 min
    • Views: 562.8K

    • Author: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert