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  1. Monty Python (also collectively known as the Pythons) were a British surreal comedy troupe who created the sketch comedy television show Monty Python's Flying Circus, which first aired on the BBC in 1969. Forty-five episodes were made over four series.

    • Contributor
    • "We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally more irritating." -Monty Python's Flying Circus. Replace "program" with "online story" and add "with pop-up ads," and it's like these Monty Python quotes were written yesterday.
    • "He's not the Messiah—he's a very naughty boy!" –Monty Python's Life of Brian. Hey, we're not naming any names!
    • "Strange women lying in ponds, distributing swords, is no basis for a system of government!" –Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But it arguably makes more sense than a government that allows itself to shut down!
    • "And finally…" "… here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and hopefully spark some sort of controversy." –The Meaning of Life.
    • The Employment Turnover of the Credits. “We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.”
    • Weight Ratios and the Humble Swallow. “Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?” – Soldier. One of Monty Python’s calling card joke constructions is presenting an absurdity and then allowing a few characters to nitpick it to death with over-informed logic.
    • Bring Out Your Dead. “I’m not dead” – Carried Man. Often misremembered as “I’m not quite dead” or “I’m not dead yet,” the old man protesting his placement on the plague cart is a deliciously dark joke done with great sincerity.
    • Debating Government with the Common Folk. “Well, I didn’t vote for you.” – Peasant Woman to King Arthur. Is England a monarchy? A dictatorship? An autonomous collective?
  2. Sep 18, 2024 · Monty Python & the Holy Grail is a true comedy classic, and we're celebrating the best quotes and moments.

    • Nick Venable
    • From Monty Python and The Holy Grail
    • From The Life of Brian
    • From The Meaning of Life
    • From The Flying Circus TV Show
    • And from Their Live Shows – The Four Yorkshiremen Sketch

    “Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.” Bedevere: “What makes you think she is a witch?” Peasant: “She turned me into a newt.” Bedevere: “A newt?” Peasant: “Well I got better.” “I am an enchanter. There are some who call me…Tim.” Black Knight: “Tis but a scratch.” King Arthur: “A scratch? Your arm’...

    “He’s not the Messiah – he’s a very naughty boy.” “Look, I don’t think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying ‘Jehovah’.” “You’re only making it worse for yourself!” “Alright, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us...

    “Is it a boy or a girl?” “I think it’s a bit early to start imposing roles on it, don’t you?” “The mill’s closed. There’s no more work. We’re destitute. I’ve got no option but to sell you all for scientific experiments.” “Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ‘ping!’. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it ...

    “This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It’s a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies! It’s run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! This is an ex-parrot!” “This morning, shortly after 11am, c...

    “House? You were lucky to have a house! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling.” “You were lucky to have a room. We used to have to live in a corridor.” “Oh we used to dream of livin’ in a corridor! Woulda’ been a palace ...

  3. Feb 29, 2024 · Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a 1975 film about King Arthur and his knights who embark on a low-budget search for the Grail, encountering many very silly obstacles. Written by Monty Python, directed by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones. And now!

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  5. Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Directed by Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones. With Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam. King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table embark on a surreal, low-budget search for the Holy Grail, encountering many, very silly obstacles.

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