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As a new widow, it’s totally normal for your social group to go through some changes. Some people won’t be able to handle your grief and you will simply drift apart. Others will be insensitive and impatient and will walk away from you on their own.
New Widow’s Complete Checklist (Version 2, Greatly Updated, Now Available!) Starting with the very first day of losing your spouse or partner, this comprehensive step-by-step checklist covers vital financial planning, tax and legal issues during your first year, and beyond….
The strategies outlined here – from offering practical assistance and emotional support to mobilizing a network and avoiding common pitfalls – form a foundation for compassionate care. Organizations like Wings for Widows play a vital role in this support system.
- You can’t screw this up. People will judge, you’ll be looked at strangely, and the worst part is that there will be times you feel like a failure. This is when to stop and remember there is no right way to be a widow, no matter what anyone says.
- People really are trying to help. Sometimes it won’t feel like help, but they are doing the best they know how. Probably not many in your circle are widows, and even those that are will get it wrong.
- Relationships will change. Friendships you thought would last will disappear — sometimes slowly, sometimes overnight. Connections with the military community will morph.
- It is OK to be angry. Being a widow sucks and being a military widow brings a whole new layer of complication to the situation. It is normal — I’d say almost universal — to get angry at points along the way.
- Contact the attending physician or family doctor. If the deceased spouse was under the care of a physician, make sure the physician knows of his death.
- Organ donations. This is a time-sensitive task. If the deceased spouse wished his organs or body be donated, certain steps must be taken quickly, usually within a few hours.
- Other Contacts
- Pack a “Go Bag” for the surviving spouse. This is not an emergency preparedness kit in the true sense of the term. However, with all the potential commotion, confusion and shock, it’s easy not to be prepared if heading out of the house to the hospital, police station or anywhere else for an unknown, potentially lengthy, duration.
Feb 24, 2021 · There’s a question that I try to ask every one of my guests on Widow 180: The Podcast and that question is: What’s one piece of advice you can give to new widows? Here’s a list of the Top Ten answers I’ve found to be the most helpful! 1. Be kind to yourself! You’re doing the best you can. This grief thing doesn’t come with instructions!
Apr 15, 2021 · 1. Lean on those who love you – Especially in the beginning. Let them bring you food, or give you financial support, or run errands for you, or watch your kids for you. Let them take care of you, even if you’re fiercely independent.
