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- The fear of losing control is a psychological condition where anxiety or panic arises when an individual feels they are no longer in charge of their environment, emotions, thoughts, or actions. This fear can manifest as an overwhelming need for order and predictability, making chaotic or uncertain situations particularly challenging.
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If you experience sudden, intense anxiety and fear, it might be the symptoms of a panic attack. Other symptoms may include: a racing heartbeat. feeling faint, dizzy or lightheaded. feeling that you're losing control. sweating, trembling or shaking. shortness of breath or breathing very quickly.
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- Overview
- 1. Obsession, or an endless thought loop that leaves you exhausted
- 2. Avoidance, or ignoring what you need
- 3. Overplanning, or trying to control the uncontrollable
- 4. Restlessness, or not being able to sleep
- 5. Traces of deteriorating physical health
- The bottom line
Anxiety is my body’s way of responding to stress. It’s the exact opposite of calm. Having anxiety is a normal part of my life, but when I don’t process stress in a healthy way, my brain keeps churning day and night. And when the symptoms take over, I feel like a hamster running in a wheel.
Here are my five telltale signs that anxiety is about to take over.
When I find myself writing “I’ll not control my family. I’m not in charge of anyone else” repeatedly, it’s probably a sign of anxiety and not a reaffirming practice to let go.
Sometimes this happens in my mind instead of on paper. When I’m around my relatives, I start thinking about what each person is or isn’t doing.
Did he load the dishwasher? Is she looking at her phone (again!)? Did he just turn up the music? Are those his T-shirts on the couch?
The thought loop repeats.
Even though I want to feel less alone, less crazed, and know that I’m not the only one to go through this … when anxiety takes over, I avoid talking it out.
As a follow-up to obsession and a prelude to restlessness, I start to lack perspective on everything else that’s happening to me. While there are plenty of trusted folks who could offer a sympathetic ear and help get these pressing and troubling thoughts out of my brain, I tell myself I’m too busy doing and planning to have someone listen to me.
Sometimes my “helpful” ways become bossy and don’t consider the logistics of planning, especially when it comes to a family gathering. I exaggerate plans to try and control the people in my life. This ignores reality — that my relatives are human, have agency, and are going to do what they want.
When I’m putting so much energy into a dinner or day that’s so far ahead in my calendar, it can be unrealistic.
The more tired I get, the more I ponder a million details per minute. This inability to rest and stop worrying can be a giant sign that things are out of control. Perhaps I’m trying to crowd out my own thoughts and emotions by thinking about others. This helps me avoid things that are perhaps too painful to face, acknowledge, or process.
When I look outside into the dark morning and realize that my eyes are tired (and likely bloodshot), I find myself wishing to sleep. It should be obvious then, but the hamster wheel comes back.
Everyone has habits that come out during high times of stress or anxiety. For me, the shorter and more ragged my nails are, the more likely I’m restless. Picking at my nails becomes a quick and routine way to deal with my ongoing anxiety.
I first started having short and unkempt nails when I was in a romantic relationship that was pretty toxic. It started as a coping mechanism for my youthful anxiety and returns when I need to cope. It’s a physical sign that I’m not sure how to let things unfold or let things be.
It’s tough to recognize the signs and react right away. I thrive on doing too much and being a hero. But I’ve been anxious my entire life. Only now in my 40s am I learning my signs and how to let go for the sake of letting my anxiety go.
Fellow anxious types should know that letting self-care backslide increases exhaustion and sorrow may follow. When I find that I’m feeling like a hamster and spending most of my waking time thinking about others, I’m not experiencing life on my terms.
There’s always help available through prevention and treatment. And at the end of the day, it’s nice to let that hamster rest a bit.
Mary Ladd’s writing has appeared in Playboy, Time Magazine’s Extra Crispy, KQED, and San Francisco Weekly. She’s a member of the SF Writers’ Grotto and a co-author of “The Wig Report,” a graphic novel on catastrophic illness.
May 8, 2024 · Here are nine reasons a person may have the fear of losing control: 1. Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is characterized by a consistent state of worry and anxiety, which often involves catastrophizing or imagining the worst-case scenario.
The fear of losing control is a psychological condition where anxiety or panic arises when an individual feels they are no longer in charge of their environment, emotions, thoughts, or actions. This fear can manifest as an overwhelming need for order and predictability, making chaotic or uncertain situations particularly challenging.
- Check your roots. Pause to consider where your drive for control is rooted: Does it come from unresolved childhood wounds? Do you have an insecure attachment style?
- Pause to notice your feelings and thoughts. When you're feeling the urge to over-control some aspect of your life (or another person's life), pause to notice the feelings that are at work.
- Release your feelings and thoughts. Once you recognize whatever feeling or feelings are at work, pause to consciously let go of the emotional burden. Take a deep breath, visualize releasing the fear, and replace the fear with a positive image such as a field of lavender, a calm sea, or a precious pet.
- Talk to yourself with humor and TLC. When you find yourself stuck in a cycle of control, pause to talk to yourself in a kind, reassuring way. Remember, the drive for control often stems from a fear of the unknown and the desire to create certainty, so you'll want to give yourself a dose of TLC rather than shame or blame.
Mar 15, 2023 · The fear of losing control is a psychological condition characterised by an overwhelming sense of anxiety or panic that occurs when an individual feels like they have lost their ability to control their environment, circumstances, or life in general.
May 22, 2011 · To overcome your fear of losing control, you can: push yourself to act on the evidence, without demanding certainty, or in spite of your fear of the uncertainty
